Tom Knox Finds New Hopeless Enterprise On Which To Spend His Money: The Governor’s Race

pKNOX19pAHey, remember Tom Knox? He was the guy who, in the last Mayoral election here in Philly, spent untold dollars on a Democratic campaign that essentially was a ghost vessel for any political ideas whatsoever. Seriously. We spent a year with the man and still have no idea what he could stand for, or in fact, if he is real at all. He is the College Boyfriend of politicians. Here’s the shocker: Even in 2009, he is apparently not out of money yet. Knox — whose hair has gone, in just two years, from Danny Kaye Red to Clintonesque White — has recently mounted a campaign for PA Governor, and as best we can tell, his platform is simple. Knox is pushing the “transparency” buzzword hard, especially when it comes to campaign contributions (PA is still wildly unregulated in this arena, as Bob Brady and others could tell you as they frisk your corporate wallet). But considering that Knox already has more money than God, the platform seems a bit insincere: He’s basically saying, “I’ll stop the admittedly corrupt system and replace it with a situation that could be worse, whereupon only the ungodly rich like me can run. WON’T THAT BE AWESOME?” Sure will, guy. Next Thursday, ironically, there’s a Knox campaign fundraiser at Il Portico with “a donation request of $1000 per person. However, if guests come in a group of four or more, donations will be reduced to $200 per person.” ‘Cos, you know, Rich Uncle Tommy’s got you covered. It’s cash bar, though, which prompts the obvious question: If you can’t even get drunk these days on Tom Knox‘s dime, what is PA democracy even for?

3 Responses to “Tom Knox Finds New Hopeless Enterprise On Which To Spend His Money: The Governor’s Race”

  1. ResIpsaLoquitur Says:

    I can’t wait until Tommy jumps on the teaparty bandwagon and leads a valiant third-party presidential campaign in 2012.

  2. Walter Sobchak Says:

    I may be crazy – feel free to tell me so – but I don’t think this is a bad idea. A governor from Philadelphia is better for us than one from Pennsyltucky, and he has enough money to throw at this that he may have a shot at winning.

  3. StopYellingDaddy Says:

    Yeah, but it’s Tom Knox. The man as about as inspiring as bucket of fetuses, and has the dead eyes to match.

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