Center City Law Enforcement To Property Owners And Businesses: In The Event Of A Phils Win, DUCK AND COVER!
We mentioned this a little bit on Monday’s Phillies roundup, but as another Phils pennant win looms ever closer (LET’S DO THIS!), it’s clear that Philly law enforcement is perhaps sweating the victory. Via reader’s forward:
Subject: Preparations for Spontaneous Phillies Fan Celebration
To: “Center City District PCAN, Law Enforcement”
Date: Tuesday, October 20, 2009, 5:26 PMIn light of the incidents that occurred after last year’s Phillies Championship win, the City is taking steps to insure that any spontaneous victory celebrations stay positive on Wednesday night (or whenever the Phillies clinch the National League pennant). The Philadelphia Police Department will be deploying additional officers in Center City around South Broad Street to establish a safe environment for fans, property owners and businesses alike.
Property owners and businesses are being asked to survey their properties including loading docks, garage entries and alleyways for any non-fixed or permanent items such as planters, valet or sale signs, unsecured or unlocked dumpsters, bike racks, etc. The Philadelphia Police are asking that those items be removed temporarily or secured from harm.
The City is removing the new solar trash cans and replacing them with wire mesh cans that will be chained to poles. Newspaper publishers are being asked to remove unsecured honor boxes (newspaper boxes) as an additional precaution. In addition, restaurants and bars have been asked to refrain from serving take-out beverages in glasses or glass bottles and to use plastic instead.
Lastly, parking restrictions will be in place on Wednesday evening, starting at 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM along South Broad Street from City Hall to Locust Street, from 13th to 15th Streets and on the cross streets in between. In addition, parking will be restricted on North Broad Street from City Hall to Poplar Streets.
Thank you for your cooperation. Go Phillies!
No! ANYTHING BUT THE HONOR BOXES! Mostly, though, we think that everybody’s afraid of the single most disturbing incident of last year’s victory celebrations: An ass-naked man burning his own underwear in the middle of Broad Street.
