5 Reasons To Be Thankful Jeff Deeney Isn’t Your Dealer
1. Every time you ring him up to connect, all he can talk about is how he could have been Rian Thal. Talk about a buzzkill.
2. Even when all you’d like to do is hand him a small pile of twenties in exchange for a bag of whathaveyou, he still insists on using the hard-boiled lingo of a crime novel, swinging his dick over “niners” this and “kilos” that.
3. Nobody wants to buy drugs from David Cross; they want to do drugs with David Cross.
4. If you seem a little addled, he’ll pleasantly remind you that he’s a social worker and can point you to any number of social services that could help a person in a situation like yours.
5. His parting words, every damned time, no matter how much you buy, are always the same: “The world of high-stakes drug deals is no glamorous fantasy game.” Uh, OK, thanks, Deeney.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Can’t wait to sneak “pancake and syrup overdose” into my vocabulary.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Still beats the rather breathless “Despite the drug murders, people are still going to the Piazza!” article in the PaperThatShallNotBeNamed.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Hey Expat, maybe we should go out for “breakfast” next time you’re in town! Wink wink, nudge nudge.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
@ ride1076
We can wash our “breakfast” down with some “Ocean”…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ocean%20Water
July 15th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Of course! What would pancakes be without a tall, refreshing glass of my staple 7th grade hair product?