To the owners of Chill Lounge:

This letter is an open invitation for you to open a satellite location of Chill Lounge here in our fair city of Philadelphia. By attracting 50% of all Reading, PA, television celebrities to your fine establishment (and surely on your way to attracting his wife, Kate, as well), you have demonstrated a proven track record of success. A Chill Lounge located in Philadelphia (“PhilChill Lounge,” perhaps?) would build upon your current level of fame and brand awareness, allowing you entry into a market even more saturated with celebrities, including (but not limited to) such luminaries as Arthur Kade, Vincent Fumo, and Larry Mendte. Maybe you could get into some kind of bar-war with Strongbox! Who knows, even the mysterious Alycia Lane could show up! She’s been keeping a low profile lately, but she seems like the kind of lady who would appreciate your signature “premium beverage service, Sun Deck, VIP reserved seating, Free Internet and a one of a kind Chill System to keep your drinks cold at the bar inside or outside.” If Chill Lounge can elevate Deanna Hummel from an anonymous third grade teacher to a rising young debutante, we believe you can help us get our beloved Ms. Lane out of hiding and back into the limelight where she belongs. Please let us know if you can help. Our city would really appreciate a new nightlife option a lot. In fact, we need you.

Sincerely,
The Residents of Philadelphia

Previously: Everything’s Better In The Northeast: Understanding Kate Gosselin’s Hair
Jon & Kate’s Fourth Wall: It Was Invisible All Along

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 at 2:15 pm.