We Leave You Today With A Challenge: Caption This (Naked) Photo Of Arthur Kade
Arthur Kade done went an posted a whole reel of photos of, uh, tasteful noodz. And since it’s probably a good hour or two until you’ll be called upon to have to eat something, we want you to stare at this and think of something clever to say, in caption form, in the comments. The winner, which we’ll pick on Thursday, will win tickets to THREE shows: Doves, PJ Harvey & John Parish and Jenny Lewis, all in the next week at the Trocadero. So get to work. It’s all part of The Journey.
Previously: And Now, Philebrity’s Unfinished Thoughts About The PhillyMag Arthur Kade Piece
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
DON’T tell me it slide down the drain again
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Clean up after a full day’s shoot on the set of Fratboy Ceampies. You know how when you get home from the beach and sand appears in the strangest places? I don’t even wanna tell you what I’m going through!
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
i love the smell of hot wax in the morning.
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
“If this doesn’t get me a celebrated mention in Philebrity, nothing will!”
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Man if I only knew the number to James Brown’s towel/cape guy.
(sings) Ha.. good gawd y’all…with my bad self” Wait I am all good there is no bad. Huh? Why would James Brown admit to his multi personality? Huh…wait..was he admitting to his wife beatings in song.? My head hurts “say it loud I’m black and I’m proud…nananana nat
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
“See that? Under that lid are my floaters. Not everyone can do floaters. And sinkers are NOT in this season. You leave a sinker, and you might as well not wipe, just go straight to the shower, and wash away your shame.”
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:24 pm
“i’ve got a joke for you.. whats the difference between jelly and jam?…. you cant jelly your dick up a dudes ass. get it. i jammed my dick up a dudes ass and now i’m wiping off and someone got this photograph of me doing so. jokes are hilarious”
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Imitation Crabs Meat
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Arthur rehearsing “I Was Twelve, My Mother Slapped Me” from The Vagina Monologues.
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:39 pm
“Wonder if they see my enormous shoulders from back here through that gloryhole?”
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
why the fuck am i drying myself with a hand towel?
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Nair was a bad choice.
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I could have sworn I left my dignity around here somewhere…
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
I could have sworn I tucked it right under here…
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:40 pm
“People outside of the modeling world don’t realize the amazing amount of effort that goes into getting the perfect pictures from a photo shoot…. I have had times where a look was so hot and I came out so amazing. – Authur Kade”
His own words on The Journey are far too superior to anything we could possibly come up with.
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:49 pm
where the FUCK did I put my tampons?
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:31 pm
In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now.
June 2nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
I told those boys not to drop the soap! Hahaha…suckers. Gotta run…off to my next amazing shower adventure!
June 2nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Cocaine’s a hell of a drug.
June 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
“Wow, I really should tip the maid a fiver.”
June 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
“This hand towel makes me look even more massive than I already am.”
June 3rd, 2009 at 3:57 am
“If you could see the other side of me, you’d understand why my friends have been calling me Jerry Penacoli all week.”
June 3rd, 2009 at 8:31 am
“Someone not on ‘The Journey’ would have jacked off to Angelina Jolie or Vanessa Williams, but they’re not that attractive, so I thought about Ryan Kwanten instead. It was amazing.”
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 am
Step into my shower…seriously “Take chances….and live.”
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:53 am
“A great man once said ‘Cup da balls! Work da shaft’, and it’s something I do everyday on The Journey”
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
“I thought that having an “innie” only applied to bellybuttons”
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
“won’t be needing THAT anymore…”
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:37 am
“And scene!” “I totally nailed the insecure, closeted homosexual, crying in the shower scene whilst engaging in a little self abuse with only Old Spice ‘Swagger’ bath gel as a lubricant.” “Kade out!”
June 3rd, 2009 at 10:39 am
Conscience is boring.
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:01 am
generally happy with BUMP’s decision to remove the “opaque” doors from the restrooms and to install roomy showers
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
“I just came out of the pool!”
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
Though Gulliver loved their hot steam showers, he longed for the day the Lilliputians would finish weaving him a proper towel.
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:51 am
“I’m SO in the clear! There’s no better place to leave a body than a doorless shower stall with a full-length window!”
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:52 am
“I know our over-priced smug magazine is struggling, but damn it I’m out here covering up little Arty with half a roll of bounty paper towels…I mean Jesus there’s only so much my trust fund can cover before I have to get a real job.”
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Arthur Kade, with a level of talent about the size of the pictured towel, tries in vain to wash off the scent of impending failure.
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
A.K. ponders his egregious misuse of the off-camera bidet and wonders how he can channel that pain to improve his demo reel.
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Oh god, please click through to his site and read the comments. I am laughing so hard I am crying.
June 3rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
When we told you to go fuck yourself, we didn’t ask you to take pictures of the aftermath and post them online, douchebag!
June 3rd, 2009 at 3:15 pm
“I always lift my leg when I cut a fart fresh outta the shower, then casually turn to see if I left any shitty cum splatters on the wall. It’s the fashionable thing to do.”
Also: Kudos to #’s 6 and 38 and @ Walter: I did and I am too
June 3rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
http://nsa07.casimages.com/img/2009/06/01//090601033513735532.jpg
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:16 pm
O RLY?
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:19 pm
There. That should take care of the foul stench of the “6″ that I just slayed. This lisp is a bigger issue. Kade out!
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Andrew was instructed to wash his new mangina twice a day and afterwards, buff it to a shine with a small, linen towel.
June 3rd, 2009 at 6:58 pm
“Do Unicorns Ever Stop Pissing Rainbows?”
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I’m up to my tits in ego but apparently not in nipples
June 4th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Before applying full body aftershave Kade takes a moment to reflect on his charitable work… “That clump’s gonna make some cancer kid flip his shit”
June 4th, 2009 at 10:18 am
“Oh fuck ouch, shit.”
June 4th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
“Damn, I guess sleeping with all those 6′s back in my college days finally caught up with me…. Kade out!”
June 4th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
And God said, “Let there be Douche”.
June 4th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Who knew Cosi had a shower?
June 4th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I could tell by the way the drain and toliet were looking at me that they knew I was someone important and that I do everything at the highest level.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:41 am
I never should have entered those BME Pain Olympics…
———
Also:
“Kick size/dick size” my ass.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Arthur Kade, needing only the teeniest of towels in this photo, may need a bigger one to cover his growing Google ranking.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Arthur Kade, rehearsing for his new one-man show, Naked Hamlet.
(I know contest is over but I can’t seem to stop)
June 5th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Arthur Kade, rehearsing the soliloquy (to strip or not to strip) in his upcoming, one-man adaptation of Hamlet.