We’ve got a longer post in the pipeline right now about how, the longer his blog/fucked-up and sad famequest has gone on, Arthur Kade has really started to go to a very, very dark, almost Patrick Bateman-esque place. But when we came upon this video, which shows Kade playing imaginary football with NO ONE in [...]

Yesterday, to the delight of Philly stoners and sport sophisticates alike, Philadelphia’s own soccer league, the Philadelphia Union, revealed their name, their website, and their endlessly bad-ass/ridiculous Brand Narrative. It’s a history lesson in a compact unity-circle of a logo — every bit of it explained in the most don’t-even-try-to-mess-with-this-you-pussy tone possible. Even the reason [...]

It’s hard to begin a post about Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. Incredible, heartfelt, superb in every way, a film with, by its own admission, “the passion of Tennessee Williams” – The Room is almost beyond words, beyond description. Suffice to say, this amazingly terrible film is something very close to the hearts of many so-bad-it’s-great film buffs. [...]

As we mentioned last week, “Kingpin of Pain” is the Johnny Zito-directed 48 Hour Film Festival entry starring the one and only Stoya. Well, last night, KOP picked up awards for editing and special effects. We are happy to present it here to you, in its glorious, 6-minute, awesome Duran-Duran/geisha makeup entirety. Enjoy.

Having already wooed The Gays, The Suburbans and The Hipsters (though we are ideologically bound to remind you here that they do not exist), The Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation just revealed its next target this morning. The World! Or, Everyone Else. In addition to reaching out to The French (a noble, if perhaps risky, [...]

From: MK Date: Tue, May 12, 2009 at 12:08 PM Subject: I will no longer read the Inquirer (re: Yoo) To: inquirer.letters@phillynews.com I wanted to inform you that I will no longer be reading the Philadelphia Inquirer due to the paper’s hiring of John Yoo to provide a monthly column. It is unconscionable to me [...]

Tomorrow night, our good buddy Dryw Scully begins his new, bi-weekly DJ gig at 700 (Second & Fairmount), called “Death’s Headquarters,” which takes its name from the immortal words of Sun Ra. Unlike Dryw’s other DJ outings at 700 over the last decade, which focused on only the newest indie music, DHQ has a folkier, [...]

This ad for D.A. candidate Brian Grady pretty much has it all. Produced by Elliott Curson, the same man who brought you Arlen Specter and Ronald Reagan (or so Grady’s press release brags), it is basically a festival of bullshit aimed squarely at people who just don’t know any better. You might think that 30 [...]

News has broken in the last 24 hours that Metro International, the Swedish-based world leader in commuter-freeb newspapers, has unloaded all of its U.S. editions — that would be Boston, New York and Philadelphia — to a company called Seabay Media. Seabay is run by former Metro executive Pelle Tornberg, and our source at the [...]

After the jump, Dan Murphy‘s shots from last week’s Stones Throw Tour gig, plus that Mayer Hawthorne tune, one! more! time.

Joey Vento‘s speech at the Philadelphia Tea Party II last month on Independence Mall. For our non-ESL readers, we do believe that some part of this is in English. We just can’t tell which part.

At this morning’s Major League Soccer Naming Ceremony for The Philadelphia Union outside City Hall, the Sons of Ben and the Polish American String Band looked upon each other and remembered one of the most beautiful things about this country: When we try to do things like Europeans, it only makes America more awesome. Behold [...]

On — of course — Action News tonight. What’s the over/under on Citizen Mom showing up on this? We’re saying negatory, as C-Mom continues to dominate Twitter with glorious strands upon golden strands of nothing. Like Nirvana, she was over it before it happened, we suppose.

This is the kind of thing that could really put a damper on the Belle & Sebastian dance party this year. Later this week, we’ll tell all about the Achefuck Shiverbird Weirdflu that rocked the city’s most popular blogthing to its core, and landed Sweeney in the Pennsylvania Hospital emergency room. Know this: No one [...]

· Vernon Odom was fully rolling his eyes on camera at one of Danny McCaffery‘s responses, prompting the obvious question: Why can’t Vernon Odom be D.A.? Tell the truth: You trust the Vern like 500 times more than you trust any of these clowns. · Dan McElhatton is the only white candidate in this thing with [...]

FRIDAY: >>> In case you wanna know, yes, I’m still sick — like, can’t hardly walk around the house sick, the poor dog, it’s a good thing he’s a poop camel — but I just dragged myself out of bed, pounded some orange juice and vitamins and made it as far as… the couch. Why [...]

Right-click here to download a larger version, suitable for printing out and distributing or hanging in your window. Joe Boruchow is a Philly-based cutout artist. He also plays in The Nite Lights.

It would seem your humble narrator came down with something overnight. Please enjoy the posts below. Philebrity will return tomorrow, strong like bull.

>>> In case you have not been paying attention, allow us to reiterate: We are hella pysched to be co-presenting the Stones Throw Tour at North Bowl tonight, featuring the one and only Mayer Hawthorne (pictured). We believe tickets are still available, though we also think it could sell out, so get on that. This [...]