Alert! Looks like we might have our own homegrown Mary Kay Letourneau on our hands. (It’s a Memorial Day Miracle! A Memoriacle!) Heather Lynne Zeo, a 36-year-old math teacher at North Penn High School in Towamencin Township, near Lansdale, is facing charges of Endangering the Welfare of a Child and Corruption of Minors. Zeo has confessed to engaging in sexual conduct (including inappropriate contact, Internet chats, and phone calls) with one student since April; however, police believe that Zeo had relations with another student as well, which she denies. In addition to teaching math, Zeo spends her time conquering the recording industry, with the 2003 religious album Light as a Feather and the 2000 educational album Musically Math to her credit. (Look her up on iTunes right now, it is seriously even more like an episode of Strangers With Candy than an episode of Strangers With Candy.) She has “performed” at churches in Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, and Missouri. On her Myspace page, Heather confesses, “As a Christian, I love my faith and all people! Teenagers and women’s groups are a large part of my passion, but my God and my family direct my world!!” She lists such teen-friendly flicks as High School Musical, High School Musical 2, and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen as her favorite films. (Translation: Issues.) Could this mark the occasion when “sexting” — it would dovetail nicely with that Inky story the other day that someone told us about — truly enters the mainstream lexicon, assuming Zeo and her victims combined their affinity for Internet chats with the convenience of a mobile phone? Were her victims merely misunderstood groupies? Why is it always the teachers with two first names? We’ll keep you posted as more details emerge. Because we are fucking fascinated. This woman is like a Rubik’s Cube MADE OF PRISMS.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 21st, 2009 at 3:52 pm.