Like you, we spent much of yesterday on a deed of double decadence: Lying around in the air conditionings — IN APRIL, MIND YOU — and learning all about Swine Flu so that we could better fantasize about our own very romantic, consumption-esque, too-beautiful-too-soon inevitable Swine Flu deaths, for which all we can do, at this point, is wait. Sigh. The upshots:
· Boom! Screw LOLcats, you’ve got a new thing to obsessively track!
· Those designer SARS masks you ordered a few years back (pictured) are going to be fashionable all over again. (Did they really ever go out of style?)
· Amidst an unexpected spring heat wave, even the slightest cough pretty much gives everyone everywhere an unimpeachable excuse to call out of work/nix social plans/break up with someone. End times, bitches!
The bad stuff:
· If that crazy stomach virus that ripped through Philly back in the fall was anything to go by, it would seem that if/when one Philadelphian gets Swine Flu, we will all get Swine Flu.
· Endless texts and tweets and Facebook updates from the City Office of Emergency Management. Or DJ Deejay. I’m not sure, I’ve just been skimming them.
· Fever, disorientation, stiffness of the joints, vomiting, and loss of consciousness ending in death. You know, we’ve spent so many Philadelphia winters that we kind of don’t even notice the first two anymore. Does that make us immune? Or are we already infected, baby?

This entry was posted on Monday, April 27th, 2009 at 10:28 am.