Philly Obviously A Part Of Embarrassing New Wave Of Five-Years-Too-Late Hipster Hatred
Here we go again. We thought we’d sorted this out before, but apparently not, so listen up, as we’d really like to never have to speak on this subject again: In 2009, there is no such thing as a hipster. “Hipsters” as we know them today are a psychological construct created by breeders and cubicle jockeys with a laundry list of things in the real world that make them uncomfortable, ranging from body images to sexuality to their own miserable life decisions. And when you hear somebody complaining about hipster this or hipster that, more often than not, that person is simply tipping their hands that there are myriad things that bum them out about their own lives; the whole hipster construct is just a way to project whatever negative feelings that reside in that person’s sense of self onto any of the various and sundry cringeworthy things that young people do. (And as it turns out, hipsters in their original Norman Mailer form are probably something we could stand to have around again.) We bring it all up because it would seem that the wages of the so-called Hipster Grifter are presently being paid in the form of a whole new wave of hipster hatred. It’s heating up on Craigslist Rants & Raves again, there’s all the accompanying Kari Farrell gear, and any number of bullshit Tumblr blogs, from lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com to Philly’s own homegrown version of that, Fucking Hipsters In Philadelphia. Motherfucking yaaaaaaawn. We’re really still talking about this? Actually, do go on: This is a perfect way to do that spring sweep of “friends” we’ve been meaning to do.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 am
Well said. Besides, the only real enemy is the Douche Class.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:12 am
Making fun of hipsters…is hip. it’s a vicious cycle. But who gives a shit. amen.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:42 am
lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com looks like it was written by some transplant from white plains who can’t tell the difference between a “hipster” and just some crazy motherfucker on the street.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Interesting. Whereas “breeders” and “cubicle jockeys” aren’t social constructs at all, I suppose?
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
As lame as most “hipsters” are, people who complain about them are even lamer.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:36 pm
@JohnV: Yes, they are a social construct, as opposed to a psychological one. Note the difference.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@ made of stone. I’m totally speechless that someone else stole my other lurkering name making me feel at same time startled that someone stole my account and jealous someone is also using this name. But then again it’s a stone roses reference. So. fuck yeah.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
@tips Touchee!
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
In the immortal words of Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?” ;-) XOXOXO
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Philebrity: the blog for out-of-touch, out-of-town cunts
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Me thinks Dr. Teeth doth Tumblr.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I really like that you used “myriad” correctly, Tips.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I call bullshit. Stop trying to be the ultra forward-thinking post-post-post-post- guy. Yeah, I feel bummed about my life, but it has nothing to do with hipsters.
It’s a fact – hipsters are fuckin’ annoying.
They way they dress is neither “interesting”, “edgy”, “creative” nor “fun” – it’s boring and ridiculous. They look like Urban-Outfitters-Americanclones, yet consider themselves oh-so-unique.
The way they ride their bikes like idiots (drunk, through stop signs, through red lights, into cars…) is obnoxious. The fact that they vociferously pronounce their mode of transportation superior to all others is also rather obnoxious.
Their constant quest for the most ironic and/or unpalatable music has become tiresome. I am sick of them trying to convince me that “artrock” is something I should bother with.
Then there is the inexplicable moodyness. Is it REALLY that painful to live in Center City, attend art school, and loaf about drawing unicorns on the $3000 Apple Macbook that your parents bought you? Believe me, you will be a lot more moody in 3 years when you can’t find a job because you have no marketable skills.
The worst part is their condescension. With all the above in mind, they still think they own the place – wherever they might be.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Dear Hipsters,
I still love you. Don’t ever change, k?
Yours,
Katie L.
Additionally…
Dear Hipster Haters,
I still love you. Don’t ever change, k?
Yours,
Katie L.
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
(And as it turns out, hipsters in their original Norman Mailer form are probably something we could stand to have around again.)
i totally agree with this statement….and have no idea what synthesized the modern day type.
and isn’t lookatthisfuckinghipster just mulletsgalore anyway?
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm
#John V
“and cubicle jockey isn’t a social construct blah blah blah” what kind of tool are you?
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
“This is a perfect way to do that spring sweep of “friends” we’ve been meaning to do”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA SO BITER! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
IT’S TRUE I AM SO BITER! BITE BITE BITE!
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:22 pm
As I said on Twitter earlier; “Honestly, I think there needs to be more blogs making fun of goths, bridge & tunnel types, and mommy bloggers.” Spread that hate around, aight?!
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Methinks “methinks” is one word. But props for going at it on Talk Like Shakespeare Day…
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@tips:
that actually made me spit soda on my desk.
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Cripes, this comments page has nearly tripled in size since the last time I was here! Awesome.
Anyways… @supermarionintendomaster: Clearly I’m the kind of tool whose erroneous word choice eclipses his larger point. All I was saying is indiscriminately hating on hipsters is no different from indiscriminately hating on breeders or cubicle jockeys. It’s two sides of people working out their shit with lifestyles they don’t relate to or particularly approve of.
I’m fine with whoever doing whatever, so long as they aren’t dicks about it.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Now I’m confused, I used to read philebrity so I could identify with the hipsters, then so I could think I was better than them.
Now at least I know I’m better than the hipster-hater-haters.