Philly Named 27th Drunkest City In America, Which Is BULLSHIT, Bro
I mean, because like seriously, dude, PHILLY KNOWS HOW TO PARTY. I mean, I don’t have to tellr YOU that — dude, seriously, next time, we should go down to the Princeton in Avalon — because you see this guy right here, man? THAT is the fucking GUY! Oh, man, I’m sorry about that, I just spilled a little bit of my Screaming Nazi on your girl, it’s all good, bro. Oh, what, you’re not accepting my apology, you fuckin’ fag? You wanna go? You wanna settle this outside? Aw, dude [begins to sob], I’m sorry, it’s just like, sometimes, I don’t know, man, I don’t know why I do this. I suck. I fuckin’ SUCK. No homo, tho, right, bro? Ahhhhahahahaha. No, really, though, dude. It’s cool, dudes are… I’m cool with dudes [attempts to kiss Finnegan's Wake bouncer full on the mouth]… WHOAH BRO! Why are you, like, fuckin’ puttin’ me in a sleeper hold, bro? DON’T TASE ME BRO! AHAHAHAHA! You know what I’m talking about man, you ever see that video on YouT– [vomits all over sidewalk, vomit splatters onto some girl's leg, sidewalk-wide brawl ensues]
27th Drunkest my ass. What the shit is Men’s Health, some friggin’ nerd magazine? AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
