National Beat: Top 4 Somali Pirate Projects Currently In Development At Philebrity Studios
Title: Lynne Abraham Does Not Care If You’re A Fucking Pirate Or Not
Tagline: “I’m too old for this shit, but I will kick your pirate ass anyway.” What happens when one tough-cookie district attorney who’s getting ready for retirement discovers a dastardly cock-fighting and human trafficking ring run by Somali Pirates in North Philadelphia? Find out in this Bonfire of the Vanities-meets-Lethal Weapon mashup. Starring Danny Bonaduce as the beat cop who ignites a firestorm when he tells a local student reporter that the Somali Pirates he polices are “animals” and most of his calls concern “TPS” — Typical Pirate Shit.
Title: Weekend At Teen Somali Wolf Pirate’s
Tagline: “We know you’re supposed to be a wolf, but who are the sweaty guys with machetes that you roll with?” This is pretty much exactly like Teen Wolf except instead of Stiles, Michael J. Fox has three dead Somali pirates as his best friends, freaking everybody way the fuck out.
Title: Somali Pirates Can’t Twitter
Tagline: “OMG I <3 U!" In this PiRomCom -- that'd be Pirate Romantic Comedy -- three Somali pirate brothers land in Philadelphia as part of a student exchange program with the Indy Hall guys, who are charged with teaching the pirates how to navigate cyberspace. But when one by one, the pirate brothers all fall for the same Twitter personality, these pirates learn that modern love is about more than just booty.
Title: ARRR! A Music War!
Tagline: “ARR-TWO-THREE-FOUR!” In this raw, underground rock doc, Joey Sweeney interviews key members of the burgeoning Somali pirate music scene, including members of Freight Foxes, Stab You For Your Booty, The Vulgar Boatmen and Dr. Hook.
