Here’s one for The Ethicist: What do you do when a semi-literate, bare-assed cancer nugget suddenly starts linking you to everything in the world he doesn’t like in a foolish effort to, oh God, who knows what?
Hello Good Sir
I just got an email linking me to an article that tears us [the band Kill You In The Face, pictured] apart and references you. We thought it was pretty funny, maybe you will, too. It’s by a gem of a guy named Steven Wells.
It reads as follows…
• Now just a quick message now to newish Philly band Kill You In The Face. Lads, you have a fantastic name. So fantastic, in fact, that I expected your music to sound like an air raid on a zoo. Alas it doesn’t. I checked out your MySpace page and your songs all suck. Which is why I am now officially taking your name away and giving it to a band that rocks. But do not despair. I’ve spent several minutes thinking up names that sum up the sickly, emo-ish priggy-prog drivel you produce. Please feel free to use one:
Old Enough to Grow Beards
Lime Green Tibetan Hippy Twat
Hat With Ear Flaps
Two Of Us Wear Glasses
And You Shall Know Us By The Trail Of Tissues
If we’re your children, can we get an allowance? Here’s the link…
No. But we will offer you this delicious glass of lemonade we just made. You want some, too, Steven?