· Hey Mister Softee: Shut The Hell Up! Or, This Moment In Philly Ice Cream History · Pierre Robert To Fill Our Mouths With His Very Own Vintage Of Fruity Earthiness · Memo To All Philly Restaurants: For The Love Of Pete, We Beg Of You, Tear Down Your Annoying Flash Intros · GoGo Gadget [...]

Philly band/tight bros The War On Drugs just got back from a European tour that, by all accounts, seemed pretty epic. And before they head out the door to conquer America — their national tour with The Hold Steady begins on March 29 — WOD bassist David Hartley was kind enough to share his pictures [...]

Confession: We watch the Real Housewives shows on Bravo, but with the detached eye that, say, an Al-Qaeda operative would. For on each and every episode of the show, we learn over and over again that the terrorists are kinda right about us: Americans are a filthy, vile people, as loathsome as a RealDoll® with [...]

Stay with this one, we promise: It gets real local at 1:49.

A reader just sent in the following document, along with some photos of the trojan horse delivered to University of the Arts, after the jump. We’re hearing that UArts is planning a counter-attack…

>>> Let us just say this: We’ve been dying to get a peek inside the Fumo Mansion (pictured) for as long as we can remember. It has 27 rooms, a gold-plated ceiling and, we are guessing, one of those library things where you pull out a book and it leads to a secret tunnel that [...]

We’ve been spending the morning boning up on the primary candidates for Philadelphia District Attorney, and boy, are our arms tired. Let’s review, shall we? There’s noted tragedy-monger Brian Grady, with whom you may already be familiar. And then there’s Dan McCaffery — the brother of noted “Eagles Judge” Seamus McCaffery — who just took [...]

Says our reader: “Four horses [were] left at the entrances to the major art schools in Philly by Tyler School of Art declaring war. This is the one at PAFA.” We’re hoping this goes as well as the NYU occupation last month. If anybody has any info on what this is all about, get at [...]

And with that, we leave you for today. Party up, people: It’s good to be back.

>>> In The Realms Of The Unreal is Jessica Yu‘s fascinating doc about outsider artist Henry Darger. It screens for free tonight at I-House, and might be the only place you can go in this today without being pelted by those gross Irish potato things. >>> Meanwhile, New Pornographer A.C. Newman headlines Johnny Brenda’s.

>>> Praise be to Jah! The iPhone motherfuckingfinally gets cut-and-paste! Which means you can make a shitty blog with it now! [Gizmodo] >>> Bummed out about the new Facebook but can’t figure out exactly why? Somebody else laid out all the reasons so you don’t have to. Amen, brother. [HuffingtonPost] >>> And speaking of all [...]

In which our hero goes to a boxing gym, and reveals that he’s from the Northeast.

Lately, we’ve been pretty taken with “The Ebony Experiment”, the challenge taken up by a married couple in Chicago who’ve vowed to buy nothing but products sold at black-owned businesses for the entire year. Maggie & John Anderson have drawn a lot of criticism for doing so — some contend the whole idea is inherently [...]

You may wonder why, in 2009, Michael Klein would spend a sizable chunk of his piece on John Bolaris, “Once-stormy Bolaris shows a sunnier side,” rehashing the fallout from a storm in 2001 that Bolaris predicted but never came. So would we, were it not for the subtext of this miraculous nugget of fellation, which [...]

Hey, so glad you could make it.

Like the guy in “Hungry Heart,” perhaps she took a wrong turn and she just kept goin’. Spoo-ky! Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

From this writeup on The Roots Picnic 2009 lineup announcement: Overall, this is the best thing to ever happen to Philadelphia, better than the Liberty Bell, the cheesesteak and the Phillies’ World Series win last year. No dis to the Roots, but come on, man. Obviously written by a vegan Mets fan who hates freedom. [...]

So, in case you haven’t heard, there is a PIZZA BANDIT currently terrorizing the streets of South Philadelphia. So far, he’s knocked off Pizza Shack (15th and Porter), Two Street Pizza (2nd and Tasker), Jackson Village Pizza (22nd and Jackson) and Queen Village Pizza (4th and Queen Streets). He’s strictly small time, as he’s never [...]

Remember when all the shit went down a few weeks ago and Brian Tierney issued this MP3 where he was trying to cool everybody out and act like the Chapter 11 proceedings were really not that big of a deal? That might have been before he learned that Citizens Bank, one of Philadelphia Newspapers, Inc.‘s [...]

Sayeth our reader: “I was walking down the street and this dude was acting like a religious zealot protesting some guy’s art, so I took a picture.” Well, we thank you, and we’d also like to inform you that your subject would be none other than the one and only Larry West; and while there’s [...]