Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m the exact kind of asshole
who’d pay $2M for an apartment with no opening windows.
One of the only really fun things about Great Depression 2.0 — besides the chance to wear barrels, of course — is that it has people talking (both intelligently and non-intelligently) about issues of class in America. In Philadelphia, the class wars have always been raw and rugged, and these days are certainly no exception. For if we can get so very upset about the opening of an ill-timed new bottle service club off Rittenhouse Square, what are we to make of the fact that while the City of Philadelphia is raising property taxes all over, property tax abatements continue unfettered for the wealthy set currently moving into The Residences At Two Liberty Place, a building so obnoxious it should have a popped collar and Kanye shades? (The above image is Two Liberty’s splash page.) The Philly chapter of ACORN has a few questions to raise about Two Liberty’s ongoing free pass, and they’re planning on showing up at Two Liberty tomorrow to check out those opulent places, maybe nosh on a little cru d’ete, and then ask (very politely of course) what the fuck is up with that tax abatement thing, while the lowlier classes in Philly are about to be zapped with higher tax bills. Oh, and you’re invited! The press release, utterly seething with right-on, who-the-hell-are-you-people sentiments, is reprinted in full after the jump.
April Fools! : How Can the City Raise Property Taxes and Continue Property Tax Abatements at Two Liberty?
Record shattering condo sales come with multiple powder rooms, 2,000+ sq. feet of balcony space, all without the hassle of paying property taxes for 10 years.
What: Open House, Learn how you too can avoid the property tax hike!
Where: The Residences at Two Liberty Place, 50 S. 16th Street
When: 12 Noon, April 1st
Contact: Ian Phillips 315-406-4386, Neil Herrmann 201-280-1060
Please join ACORN and others at an impromptu tour of The Residences at Two Liberty Place, a truly mixed-income community of bankers, media moguls and affordable residences for professional athletes and rock stars.
“Give me liberty, and a lifestyle without compromise”
– motto, Residences at Two Liberty Place.
If you too don’t want to compromise, or sacrifice a cent of your inherited money to the tax man, or perhaps you simply want to live in a massive tower, thereby giving yourself a visual representation of how much wealthier you truly are than the uncouth masses of Port Richmond, Olney, and Southwest Philadelphia (panoramic views!); either way The Residences at Two Liberty Place are for you.
As you may have heard from the person you pay to read the newspaper to you, Mayor Nutter has unveiled a budget which keeps all essential services but calls for a substantial, temporary property tax increase for two years. A 19% increase to your property taxes when your home is worth $7.8 million might mean giving up that holiday in Prague, or perhaps you will even have to lease a lowly Jaguar and give up your Bentley and/or Batmobile.
I know what you are thinking, “I better call my lawyer and appeal my assessment again.” But wait! Now you don’t have to! Under the City’s tax abatement program you don’t need to pay a cent in property taxes for 10 years, skipping the two year tax increase altogether; why should you have to pay to support libraries and health centers that you don’t use or schools that your heirs do not attend?
Each residence is appointed with the finest Miele and Sub-Zero appliances, Snaidero cabinetry . . . and of course, marble, tile, granite countertops and exotic hardwood flooring. To complement your personal concierge service, each home includes a Virtual concierge which allows you to . . . call the valet for your car, book reservations, or reserve a spa treatment for your pet.” – www.twoliberty.com
If you have a small dog that lives primarily in one of your handbags which costs more than the average North Philly rowhome, then Two Liberty is for you. If your hate for the proposed Unisys sign is rivaled only by your contempt for paying your share of taxes, then we’ve got a Jacuzzi bathtub filled with dollar bills waiting for you (“luxury” denomination only).
While welfare for the wealthy and bailouts for bonuses may have gone out of style, abatements for the affluent are the hottest trend in no restraint living for Spring ’09. Join us on this exclusive tour on April 1st at Noon at The Residences at Two Liberty.