“Didn’t I tell you last week? Get me a fish sammich, dammit!“

No, it’s not because we’re such huge fans of Fever Pitch, silly! It’s because Philly legends — yeah, we said it, LE-GENDZ! — The Roots are the house band on Fallon’s new show, which begins tonight in the spot where Conan O’Brien used to be. But of course, you already knew that. At any rate, tonight’s the big debut. And Philebrity editor Joey Sweeney is here to add nothing whatsoever, but it’ll be fun, at least, maybe, to have this record of first impressions 40 years from now, when Fallon is as beloved as Johnny Carson and we all use fiberglass fish lungs so that we may live to be 180. At any rate, this is a sweet gig for the Roots. Let’s see if Fallon is worthy of them. Please feel free to add your own impressions in the comments below.

12:35AM: Well, anything could have topped that Leno. Oh man, Conan. Much props on the Gervase joke.

12:37AM: What is up with that theme song? It’s like a Fishbone b-side!

12:38AM: Loving the Carsonesque blue curtain. And here’s THE ROOTS! What is all that crap behind them?

12:40AM: You know, we’re at a point when chat shows could get rid of the monologue. And the guests. Prediction: Like Conan, the best parts of Fallon will be the skits and the band/host banter.

12:42AM: THE ROOTS ARE SLOW JAMMING THE NEWS. First real number: Tariq doing a HEAVY TEDDY P thing here. F the monologue, SLOW JAM THE NEWS!

12:44AM: Lots of love for the Roots up front — btw, NYC readers, @qoolquest leaked where the afterparty is.

12:46AM: Not feeling this blonde mothers thing.

12:48AM: Note the dudebro commercials. For all the talk about blonde mothers watching, NBC would seem to have sold this jawn to Dap Out Industries: I Love You Man (the movie), beer, et al.

12:51AM: Seriously, what is this Living Colour/Fishbone jerkmetal theme music?

12:52AM: This Lick It For $10 bit is already totally insufferable. So let’s talk about Jimmy’s suits. Pretty nice, but a little shiny. And I never thought I’d be saying this, but I kinda miss his Gregg Foreman lite haircut from back in the Strokes era. Jimmy is good with the audience people here, but this bit blows. Nevertheless, I feel like he’s way more confident than I thought he’d be. There’s gonna be some carnage in the writer’s room, most likely, but already, I like the heavy prominence of bits. Jimmy’s not gonna have guests this good every night.

12:56AM: Although there is something kinda undignified about ?uestlove having to play a drum roll when a guys licks a fish.

12:59AM: That break music was not bad!

1:00AM: Oh, to know what is going through Robert DeNiro’s mind right now. But, again, Jimmy is way more at ease than I thought he’d be. But this is already blotter talk show shit. Q: Who is talking about more of nothing — this interview or THIS LIVEBLOG?

1:04AM: Even so, can The Roots be the host and the house band of this show?

1:05AM: DeNiro, it must be said, does a world class Jimmy Fallon impersonation. AWWWKWARD!

1:06AM: Nice to see the various members of the humiliation industry — Viagra, Vagisil, Subway — all support Jimmy Fallon.

1:08AM: Though it hurts my soul to say it, Miss March has a great comedic premise.

1:10AM: I fucking hate liveblogging.

1:11AM: Space Train bit with DeNiro: These guys totally inherited the Conan costume department! And special effects, too. A good sign, when you think about it. Bit kinda sucked, but let’s keep in mind where Conan started, too.

1:12AM: Here’s the thing about this show: Why are they bound to the old talk show formula? I keep feeling like it’s a dead end for Fallon — he obviously can’t help but go off script (i.e., laughing straight through every SNL Weekend Update ever), so why not just have that be the show? Let him ask goofy questions, let him be nervous and weird, let the Roots do all kinds of weird shit, and shake up the talk show format a little bit? This, after all, is what NBC paid for.

1:17AM: If you want them to, the Roots can play smooth jazz.

1:18AM: You know, it’s not too late to hire Justin Timberlake to host this fucker every night.

1:19AM: OR, have JT and Fallon host the show AS THE BEE-GEES.

1:21AM: Oh shit, JT already has a doomed TV show.

1:22AM: JT as John Mayer = AWESOME. GIVE THIS MAN A TALK SHOW! Sorry, Jimmy. Would you like to host a show that is part Punk’d, part psychological torture? I mean, one that is not called Late Night With Jimmy Fallon?

1:28AM: J-ROLL!

1:29AM: SANTIGOLD AND SPANK ROCK TMRW NIGHT! Clap Yr Hands Say Yeah later this week? Philebrity Bookings, at your service.

1:30AM: Fire the sound engineer. This Van Morrision performance is chaos, and not the good kind. Will the Roots ever be backing up musical guests? I’m really curious to see how well they settle into playing covers as walk-on music, etc., or if that’s just not gonna happen at all. Although they did play the Taxi theme, I believe, when DeNiro walked on, complete with flute solo.

1:33AM: I’d like to take this moment to thank my brothers and sisters in the comments for rolling with me in here tonight. Enrico just made a very funny joke about Van.

1:35AM: MORE FISHBONE METAL OUTRO MUSIC! TO THE EXTREEEEME! Oh, Roots. Let’s workshop this one. After all, by this time next week, you guys will be hosting this ish. We hope, anyway.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009 at 1:02 am.