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Breaking News Of Over $1 Billion In Lost Bail Money To Make City A Magnet For Dawg The Bounty Hunter And Sexy Late Period Robert Forster Types

puppy.gifHoly gold rush! Fleeing felons collectively owe the City of Philadelphia over $1 billion in skipped-on bail money. Which is amazing on a whole host of levels, but let’s not get bogged down in that right now. The point is, GET THAT MONEY! Bounty hunters far and wide, get at us! Imagine what the city could do with $1B on hand: First, we could get a fancy lawyer to sue the Eagles for the $8M they owe us. Then, we could sue the Eagles again… just to be dicks! After that, we could buy all of City Council some diamond grillz, get The Dude a nice pimp cup and then GET ON A BOAT. And then, with the $100K left over, we could maybe start to do something to attract more tech jobs here, and maybe put in a another one of those weird Dutch toilets they have outside City Hall somewhere else. Money is awesome.
Yahoo: Also, Let’s Finally Get This Puppy The Legal Representation He Deserves

This entry was posted on Monday, February 9th, 2009 at 3:44 pm.

One Response to “Breaking News Of Over $1 Billion In Lost Bail Money To Make City A Magnet For Dawg The Bounty Hunter And Sexy Late Period Robert Forster Types”

  1. expat attack Says:
    February 9th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Even better, create a snitch hotline: 215-SNCH-ON-U

    Snitchers get 5% of the debt collect from the snitchee. This shit would be sorted out in two days.

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