Ripped From The Listings Inbox: Philly Zoo Gets Randy For V-Day
Lovin’ on the Wild Side – Adults Only
10:00 – 1:00
Feb 14 & 15Ever wonder just which animal has a 30 inch penis? Or if bats really can do it upside down? Maybe you were curious about what it takes for elephants to mate, or which animal thinks toe nibbling is great foreplay? What better way to spend Valentine’s Day weekend than to bring your valentine to America’s first zoo and have some of these questions answered! Once here you can take an “up-close-and-personal tour” of the Zoo and learn the fascinating mating behaviors of everything from tigers to tortoises. Enjoy a delicious brunch and champagne toast between these “close encounters” with the Zoo’s animal celebrities. Be sure to wear your walking shoes and be ready not to be shy!
$75.00 Space is limited. Advance reservations are required. Call 215-243-5254
Sadly, the Buttsecks Owl will not be on hand for this wonderful event. (He/she is DJing a special edition of “Just Friends” with Jay Yoo, where Philthy Paul will be taking pictures and being weird to girls, until the Buttsecks Owl nearly cleans his clock, but instead, just tells him to go home.)
PhillyZoo: The 69-ing Bat, However, Will Be On Hand To Answer Any And All Lovemaking Queries
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Buttsecks Owl spins trayacks? O Rly? I did not know that about shim!
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Look up the Argentine Lake Duck. It’s ghastily endowed: 14 inches, corkscrewed with a tassle on the end.
The gorilla’s willy is only about an inch long. Erect.
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
thank you for this. it got sunnier in my heart despite the weather today. as far as philthy paul goes, he was totally provoked. we all know how douchey that guy joey, i mean er, that buttsecks owl can be. i love him anyway though.