Finally, the results are in! The Pygmy Loris, arguably the most well-rounded candidate (with the cuteyist-wootiest wittle face), on January 20, 2009, beat out the 49 other not-as-cute candidates to gain the title of the Philadelphia Zoo’s Animal-In-Chief. This was the Philadelphia Zoo’s first election — a major step towards becoming a strong, democratic nation. [...]

As many of you are (I’m sure) aware, Wednesday night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, harbinger of all things hysterical until they happen to you, quipped about Philadelphia being a shithole when he was talking about Obama’s whistlestop train adventure that kicked off at 30th Street Station. Philadelphians banded together in response by turning [...]

Thursday, January 22, 2009 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE MEDIA ADVISORY MAYOR NUTTER TO WELCOME JAMIE FOXX, CAST AND CREW OF LAW ABIDING CITIZEN TO PHILADELPHIA WHO: Mayor Michael A. Nutter Jamie Foxx Gerard Butler F. Gary Gray – Director Sharon Pinkerson – Greater Philadelphia Film Office WHERE: Mayor’s Reception Room, Room 202, City Hall WHEN: Friday, [...]

· Starr On Top Chef Play-By-Play: “When I Heard Her Say ‘Send Out The Love,’ I Wanted To Fire Her. I Wanted To Shake Her Really Hard.” · Philadelphia Weekly Exploits Philly Beer Week; Chris DePeppe Approves · Last Chance To Nominate Philly’s Best “Onesie” All this and more — plus the Phoodie Restaurant Guide [...]

We eat brains. Dan Dan Gross: Finally, Some Anchordrones We Can Get Boners For

New video from Big City aka Phillip D. Esposito, the son of notorious gangster Richie Esposito. Kinda makes you wish that young Italian men in South Philly still had anything left in the world to keep them from entering the rap game. Sayin’.

Yes. Some iteration of The Grateful Dead is back together and will kick off the first two nights of May at the Wachovia Spectrum, thereby insuring that when the Spectrum is finally torn down, there will be a nice, fresh coat of bongsmell on the walls that will hopefully grow anew once ComcastTown is built [...]

There are some days when Radio Times is like a Dunkin’ Donuts at 5AM, filled with old people talking slowly, with pauses as long and dense as passages from Proust, where conversational tumbleweeds blow. When discussions about the late, great Andrew Wyeth do the man a disservice by literally bringing out the dead. When art [...]

Save the date: On Monday, February 2nd, forces beyond your control will be attempting to guilt you back into the habit the buying newspapers even though, by and large, newspapers have abused you, discounted you and taken you for a fool for decades now. (Especially recently.) But it’s Buy A Newspaper Day, and if you [...]

Whether you love her, hate her, or just like adding the words “Dance Party” onto the end of her name, everyone has gotta admit: Lynne Abraham is a barnacle on this city. She’s been District Attorney since 1991, which frankly, is just too damn long for anyone to hold that kind of position whether they’re [...]

So, in case you were wondering, we got Poe. Definitively. And because of 400 Philadelphians chanting down the lead Poe geek from Baltimore. The terms are as follows: Poe’s “rep” is somehow officially switched here, so scholars and people at cocktail parties (do those still happen?) can say things like “Well, I don’t know much [...]

>>> Attention lovers of scuzz rock and buying t-shirts that make your mom feel uncomfortable and girls not wanna date you: Pissed Jeans and Fucked Up are playing at Kung Fu Necktie. So, have fun with that. >>> And over at International House, Ted Passon long-in-the-works Space 1026 doc is screening! Nice. Hopefully, they excluded [...]

Note to PHL: That’s not where my luggage goes, jerkface. At this point, we’ve all heard about the US Airways plane that crash landed into the Hudson River as a result of a flock of geese getting sucked into its engine. This, of course, begs the question of whether it could happen in our own [...]

“There’s a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. ‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of [...]

The warm and fuzzies of Comcast 3.0 have barely even set in, and those shiesty bastards at Comcast are at it again. The FCC is investigating the company (again, ugh) for infringement of network neutrality policy. Comcast is being probed for supposedly degrading VoIP traffic in favor of its own. The FCC alleges that Comcast [...]

Tell the truth now: When President Barack Obama popped out of his limo yesterday on Pennsylvania Avenue to give some props back to the massive crowds assembled, you shat your pants just a little. GET BACK IN THE CAR!!!, you thought, unspeakable fears jangling each nerve ending on your body. We hear ya. You’re not [...]

Somewhere, these kids are still cracking up at how that douche Rick Warren pronounced their names.

Fresh off of Monday’s post about Stoya winning “Best New Startlet” at the AVN Awards (not that you would know what that is), comes this clip on Fleshbot [WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU ARE THE BOSS, BECAUSE EVEN THO THE CLIP IS TOTALLY WORK-SAFE, IT'S FLESHBOT AND THERE ARE STILL DONGS AND COOTERS [...]

Because if they did, they would know that “Comcast” is now corporate-speak for “consumer ratings so low that we’re going to have to pretend that we’re human beings, at least for a little while.” Which is very different from being a giant inflatable rat with with a strange, inflamed ratgina. Totally different, in fact. Seeing [...]

So, Joseph S. Forte (pictured at right), Philly’s very own Mini-Madoff (but with the added pathos of ripping off charities, churches, and schools instead of Hollywood elite), caught a federal mail fraud charge yesterday. Not fun. If convicted, he could be looking at 20 in the federal pen. On the upside, he’s got his own [...]