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First-Ever Non-Pro Wing Bowl Allows For Nine Year Old Boy To Win Mini-Cooper And Do Irreparable Colon Damage

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Hooked on Phonics worked for meeeeee!

We kid, we kid. This cherry-faced champion is a maaaaan, baby! John Squibb a.k.a. Super Squibb of Berlin, NJ gave Berliners just one more thing to be proud of (it’s not all about the Mart anymore!) and put down a whopping 203 wings at this morning’s Wing Bowl, Philadelphia’s annual ritual of shame, self-hatred and generalized fuckery. The Squibb’s win was something of an upset: Chicken Caesar was given 3-1 odds, with Squibb being favored at 9-1. (In the end, Chicken Caesar didn’t even place in the top 4.) For his efforts, the Squibb receives a Mini Cooper, and a diamond ring that Steven Singer seems to have stolen off of Liberace’s corpse. Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!

This entry was posted on Friday, January 30th, 2009 at 11:32 am.

4 Responses to “First-Ever Non-Pro Wing Bowl Allows For Nine Year Old Boy To Win Mini-Cooper And Do Irreparable Colon Damage”

  1. Philly Chit Chat Says:
    January 30th, 2009 at 11:50 am

    Thank god I read the copy, I thought wow he only ate 3 wings and won. Those wings must have been pretty big.

  2. Richard Brian Penn Says:
    January 30th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Uhmmmm yeah…we need more attention to the obesity problem in Philadelphia – RBP

  3. Grapesoda Says:
    January 30th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    @RBP because that kid is huge amirite?

    I catch your drift but a big fail at the execution part.

  4. dUb-iLL Says:
    January 30th, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Seriously, What’s up with his face? Is that wing sauce? He looks like one of those puppets from Mr. Rogers Land Of Make Believe.

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