Philadelphia Zoo’s New Commander-In-Chief Is Almost As Cute As U.S.A’s
Finally, the results are in! The Pygmy Loris, arguably the most well-rounded candidate (with the cuteyist-wootiest wittle face), on January 20, 2009, beat out the 49 other not-as-cute candidates to gain the title of the Philadelphia Zoo’s Animal-In-Chief. This was the Philadelphia Zoo’s first election — a major step towards becoming a strong, democratic nation. Though while we certainly cannot say the election was without flaw, seeing that of the 2,254 votes, 0 were cast by actual residents of the zoo, it is at least better than the anarchy in which these animals were living previously.
Congratulations, Pygmy Loris. And God bless the Philadelphia Zoo.
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Is DMac the guest editor today?
January 22nd, 2009 at 4:51 pm
I wonder what that thing tastes like.
January 22nd, 2009 at 5:06 pm
@aetchells: So help me God, I will cut you.
January 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
@dUb-iLL: Probably a lot like dolphin meat. Tuna-safe, of course.
January 22nd, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I want one. Thats wrong, right?
January 22nd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
In all likelihood, it probably tastes a little like muskrat. Primate meat is porklike, but can be musky and oily.
Now orangutan, there’s your money meat.
January 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 am
I can’t believe Pygmy Marmoset came in last! Hrmph!