>>> You gotta love the tagline for The Great Depression Party: “Free Soup and a loaf of bread for the best dressed.” Meanwhile, The Pros From Dover play old-timey music and the bar experiences a run on gin, that magical elixir that got these great United States through its first Great Depression. At 700. >>> [...]

We’re so proud! Previously: It’s Jonny Makeup’s World, You Just Stand On The Sidelines In Sheer, Delighted Bewilderment

Sure, everybody knows that strip clubs are fun… once in a while. Especially with a group of friends and super-especially if you can rely on the part-true/part-false wisdom that the strippers are not as smart as you, and therefore, not as subject to the awful psychic suck that you would suffer from if you were [...]

First they steal the baby Jesus statue out of the creche on Independence Mall (Yeah, they also said that some places put GPS on their baby Jesuses because baby Jesus theft is apparently common, which is a whole other story I suppose.) Then people start asking “Wait, why is there a creche on Independence Mall?” [...]

VIA PHOODIE.INFO: Great Depression 2.0, we cram 2 understand U: It would seem that celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck (pictured) has entered into a partnership with Live Nation to take over the concessions at all of their venues nationwide — which also includes liquor licenses, apparently. Take note of this notice slapped on the front of [...]

>>>Yeah, yeah, some folks stole Baby Jesus from a nativity scene like they always do. Two thoughts: First, if Big Baby Jesus was still with us, he would be the best Baby Jesus ever. Second, everybody should totally track their stolen Baby Jesuses with LightningGPS, who promotes itself by offering churches and cities free GPS [...]

Previously: Breaking: Brian Tierney’s Message Of Christmas Cheer — See Ya, Wouldn’t Wanna Be Ya

We’ll be doing the final lineup for The Second Annual Non-Denominational, Completely Secular Philebrity Xmas Pageant tonight! But before we do, we shall ask you one last time: Are you a comedian/band/performer/whathaveyou that’s interested in performing? Email tips[at]philebrity[dot]com with “XMAS PAGEANT” in the subject header to submit your act TODAY! Lineup to be announced later [...]

German-language trailer for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Is it just us, or do you think the Germans will really “get” this show?

Tee hee! Philadelphia’s own acting U.S. Attorney Laurie Magid indicted the head of National Lampoon for trying to pump up his stock. According to the charges, between March and June 2008, National Lampoon CEO Daniel Laikin conspired with Dennis Barsky, who is listed on National Lampoon SEC filings as a “consultant,” to pay others, including [...]

Let’s face it: With the Sixers in such a complete and total state of disarray, Philadelphia is basically left without a basketball team this year. And what with the Depression 2.0 and all bearing down, should we not do like our grandparents and great-grandparents and distract ourselves with the charms of marvelous physical comedy? After [...]

Mark our words, people: This time next year, you’re going to be buying Jonny Makeup iPod socks and sweatpants. We’re not sure what the vehicle will be — reality television or lawsuit or maybe both — but our boy Jonny is like this far from going mega. In the last week alone, Jonny made a [...]

On the plus side, the merits of washing one’s hands is obvious. To wit: Had we washed our own hands more lately, yesterday’s sole, lonely ebola-virus post would not have been necessary. But: Why is The Geator the authority on this? (After all, dude has not always had the cleanest of hands in this life.) [...]

We had so much to tell you about today; but for reals, we can barely stand up or hold anything down, is anybody else suffering from this thing? God, that’s all the energy I have. Gotta go lay down.

FRIDAY: >>> I don’t know about you, but I cannot WAIT to punch 2008 in the nuts, rifle through its wallet and tell that trick ass bitch to GO HOME. Which is what is making celebrating the holiday season all that much richer and deeply satisfying; it’s like a Viking Funeral, with the best part [...]

OK, rockists, we’ve given you your prescribed weekly titty twister already, so we’ll be nice: Wilco and Neil Young are playing the Spectrum — what will most likely be the last rock show of note at that venue EVER — and we’re going, and for once, we are just as psyched as you are about [...]

If, by “resisting,” you mean “cursing at the news and drinking in silent sadness now more than ever,” I’m on it, brah. Smash the state! Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

The one and only DJ Ian St. Laurent you-sent-us his new mixtape this morning, WISL Radio Vol. 1, and if, like us, you haven’t stopped listening to David Holmes’ Come Get It I Got It since it came out, you would do well to stop in and check this out. For fans of: Psychedelic soul, [...]

On one hand, you have to admire the extreme deference of Doron Taussig‘s cover story for City Paper this week, “The Nutters.” On one hand, Doron pretty much will do anything to step around the “Bizarro Nutter” concept this blog and its readers have pretty much owned for a month or two now. On the [...]