And Now, Joey Sweeney’s Unfinished Thoughts Regarding The Guy Who Shot Someone For Talking During Benjamin Button At The Riverview
1. Years ago, a friend of a friend knew a guy whose girlfriend was obsessed from afar with Brad Pitt. At first, it was normal enough — collecting magazines, buying DVDs — but over the period of a year or so, the girlfriend suffered a paranoid schizophrenic breakdown in which she came to believe that Pitt had been sending her signals through the media, reciprocating her love. In the process, she broke up with her real boyfriend, travelled to the West Coast in a fog of madness, and eventually was arrested outside Pitt’s home. Not to say that this guy is like that girl, but moreover, it just goes to show that there’s all kinds of people who DON’T LIKE YOU TALKING WHILE A MOTHERFUCKING BRAD PITT MOVIE IS ON SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE?
2. Is merely shooting someone in the arm still a prosecutable offense in Philadelphia? Just curious. It wasn’t even the guy’s right arm.
3. I sincerely hope that someone in James Cialella’s (pictured) family sneaks him a bootleg copy of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button into the hoosegow, because after all this, it would be really fucked up if he had to wait for an official DVD release to find out how the movie ends.
4. As despicable as they may be, perhaps some crimes should be automatically forgiven if they, as this one does, so perfectly capture a civic zeitgeist. It’s not fair, James Cialella’s spirit cries out over the city. It’s just not fair.
December 29th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Let’s be honest…who has gone to a movie at the Riverview and NOT considered shooting someone?
December 29th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
he takes Pitt’s words to heart…
“I have a hard time with morals. All I know is what feels right, what’s more important to me is being honest about who you are. Morals I get a little hung up on”…
Some time it just feels right to shoot a bitch.
December 29th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
The only time you can watch a movie in complete silence at the Riverview is either at 11:00 on a Sunday night or during the day while all the bratz are in school.
December 29th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
When I heard “Riverview” and “shooting” in the same news report, the only thing that came to mind was “justified.
December 29th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I generally grab movies at the Riverview on Sundays with little to know complaints.
There was this one time I caught Miami Vice, just me and a family sitting behind me. They were chattering, but nothing too bothersome. In fact, that scene in the final overchoreographed shootout where Tubbs comes out of a somersault and blasts a shotgun he pulled out of nowhere, someone chiming “That Jaime Foxx, he ain’t playin!” was pretty spot on punctuation.*
Still, people chattering and people shooting at _The Curious Case of Benjamen Buttons_? If that’s going down during that snoozer, I gotta see what the _Twilight_ crowd is up to.
Punishment for both participants in this incident should be having to sit through _Repo: The Genetic Opera_ with its traveling sing along die hard fanbase. Boy, did that suck.
December 30th, 2008 at 9:56 am
If it went down like this i expect an apology from the AP for besmirching our good name.
———- unsubstantiated quote ———————–
I know people that were IN THE THEATRE when this happened
and it went down different than reported in the papers…
Dude asks father and son to shut up.
Father starts talking shit.
Son throws shit at dude.
Dude gets up.
Father and son attacked the dude (some other people got in on it too)
Dude is getting pumelled, people are screaming and leaving the theatre
(although I saw a mugshot – and he didnt take much to the face)
Dude pulls a gun and shoots dad.
Fight stops.
Dude sits down and says
“it was self defense..Im not wrong.” and finishes watching movie.
December 30th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I sympathize with the shooter. i was in a movie a while back with my wife. In front of me sits this 300 lb blob of a guy. About every 10 minutes, he lifts one cheek off the seat and releases the most noxious silent fart I have ever experienced.This was eye watering gas. The movie was a sell out so there was nowhere to go. Everyone in the vicinity is squirming, sleeves are going over noses and people are looking around trying to figure out who it is.
Finally, I tap the guy on the shoulder and say ” Hey, why don’t you go drop the load before you kill us all”
My wife about crawled under her seat. There was a pause of a few seconds and people around me start to clap. The guy says “fuck you” and aubibly farts again. My wife insists on leaving and I have to wait a month or two to see if Jason Bourne makes it out alive.