Lower Merion alumni Kobe Bryant came home yesterday to do what he does best. No, not make strange women in hotels uncomfortable or rich, silly! He came home to get buckets. And buckets he got: 32 to be exact during yesterday’s win over the Sixers, further evidence that Philadelphia sports teams are mostly here to give us blueballs. (Yes, I know the Phillies won the World Series, but that was like a million months ago and we need another excuse to throw bricks at Robinson Luggage.) Either way, the Sixers blew it in a last-minute loss and Kobe is to blame. Jerk. Here are some fun Kobe related facts that the Internet told me: He is actually named after Kobe Beef and he met his met his wife, Vanessa Laine, when she was working as a backup dancer for the music video “G’d up” by Tha Eastsidaz. She was 17. That is all.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 4th, 2008 at 5:48 pm.