We have come to the realization that we may have chosen the wrong line of work. Fun? Sure. Personally rewarding? Often, yes. Free stuff? Man, we love free stuff. But the prospect of getting a chunk of the $98 million in severance pay that’s lined up for ten Wachovia execs (should the bank’s sale to [...]

You sure give it a good effort, Eddie The Snide. You can save all the junior hockey rinks you want to try and ask for pennance. But honestly, Philadelphia just doesn’t like you that much. Now, there’s really nothing wrong with that. Some people just don’t get along, you know? We can be civil. You [...]

>>>…is changing! CN8 is finally closing up shop, firing a few hundred people, and implicitly yielding that they suck, which you already know. Didn’t they already fire everybody, like, forever ago? Anyway, we’ll be getting “The Comcast Network.” The extra-localized public affairs programming will probably be too small-potatoes for Ed Snider, who has NO FUCKING [...]

It’s all about Baby Fights in ’08! PHILLY BABY FIGHTS!

On the real: Just think of how amazing it would be for Lenny Dykstra to do a VH-1 Celebreality show where MC Serch from Third Bass svengalis Lenny into being like a hardcore Notorious B.I.G.-styled rapper named “Lenny Da Twizzla.” Da Twiz would always appear in charcoal grey pinstripe suits, chewing on Twizzlers and dropping [...]

Hi, Larry. As you may have guessed, here at Philebrity, we know a thing or two about being confined to the home for months and months at time; we’ve basically been locked in our home office since we started this site over four years ago. Over that period, we’ve learned a few things, and we’d [...]

Don’t ask us how, but we got our hands on the wallet of our favorite C-Lister, Johnny Goodtimes. That’s right, it’s a fucking VELCRO SPIDERMAN WALLET. We know he’s got this whole ‘Man Of Leisure’ thing going on, but really now. Get yourself a money clip, homie. Contents of said wallet after the jump.

Port Richmond does not wait for Black Friday, yo. Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

“I keep refreshing, and NOTHING IS HAPPENING! So weird!”

>>> Controversial superchef Thomas Keller at the Free Library. Check Phoodie.info for details. >>> Steven Bloodbath‘s going-away jawn redux at Fluid. Scroll down for full story. >>> Also of note for wearers of scarves/lovers of blogrock: Castanets and Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson at Johnny Brenda’s.

“I’m a driver, I’m a winner, things are gonna change, I can feel it.” Twitter: Oh, The Humanity! UPDATE: 3 years probation, 6 months home confinement, 250 hours community service, computer monitoring plus a fine. For Mendte, not Klein. Klein is sentenced to living the rest of his life knowing that this will be one [...]

In the interest of keeping our good names clean, we should tell you that these days, we send the interns to engagement parties, and bona fide Philebrity staff are only available to attend your bris or your funeral, whichever comes first.

In case you didn’t hear, our lead pick in Friday’s Weekend Picks, Steven Bloodbath’s Wild Rumpus party in NoLibs was pretty much busted (in a rather hilarious/scary overbearing fashion) before it even got started. This, you may remember, was our buddy Bloodbath’s big going-away jawn, and a lot of effort apparently went into creating a [...]

One of two things is happening here: Either this is the first time ever Philebrity has woken up on Monday and been in a good mood, or… OH MY GOD WHO WANTS TO GO TO PHOENIXVILLE, TAKE MUSHROOMS AND WATCH A BUNCH OF HIPPIES BURN DOWN A GIANT WOODEN PHOENIX? YES! This is just one [...]

Please send your Thanksgiving Eve (and DECEMBER CALENDARS) to listings[at]philebrity[dot]com and tips[at]philebrity[dot]com. We’re working on our roundup for The Biggest Drinking Night Of The Year, and you definitely don’t wanna be left out. Civilians: Got a pick for Turkey Eve? Leave it in the comments.

In reaction to the current economic downturn, Metrocorp President David H. Lipson announced today that the company is responding by reducing the production of its’ ancillary Home publication from four times a year to two. The magazine, edited by Lauren McCutcheon and overseen by Editorial Director Larry Platt, serves as the authority on home and [...]

Darren Finizio with his latest offering, a poem entitled “Negative.” Preach it, broheim.

Wait, what? This cannot be: We just got a press release saying that beloved radio host and programmer Jim McGuinn is leaving his post(s) to become program director for 89.3 The Current in St. Paul, Minnesota. In January! What? From his days at WDRE and onto Y-100 (which then morphed into the Y-Rock stream on [...]