Phashionista Special Report: First Sighting Of “Asshole Wearing Shorts In Sub-50-Degree Weather” Indicates Long, Difficult Winter
Consider it the yin to Groundhog Day’s yang: Out picking up lunch earlier today, we spied our first sighting this season of that perennial Philly street style mystery, The Asshole Wearing Shorts In Sub-50-Degree Weather. Much like its cousin, Jackass Wearing Sweatpants With One Leg Rolled Up, Shorts In The Winter Guy is a living, walking and very real urban legend that defies all logic and good reason, but provides an instant window into its sufferer’s life: Lots and lots of carbs, willingness to watch any sport at all, a career of C’s in school and not much better now, and somewhere, a girl with no self-respect whatsoever who’s raising this fucking schlub’s babies. And because we saw him this year before December, the fix is in: This winter will be long, fruitless, and stupid. Make sure you’ve got lots of canned goods in.
November 26th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
i was kind of just thinking about this, how heavier set dudes often wear shorts all the time, year round.
November 26th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
On the college campuses, it seems like some guys never stop wearing shorts. I saw a dude in sandals last week, and he had a skateboard, and it was 45 degrees.
November 26th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
It’s times like this when I have to cast my eye towards New York just to maintain my sanity.
November 26th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Shorts in sub-50 weather is fine if the person is running. One can safely run in shorts down to 40.
Otherwise, asshole or Canadian, maybe both or the trifecta running Canadian asshole.
November 26th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Overweight. Generally a fan of NOFX and/or Pennywise.