Yes, the Philadelphia Thanksgiving Parade is often a hollow sham, an open, festering sore that anyone from New York can rightly pick at any given time, and for once, be totally justified; year in, year out, it’s a fucking shitshow that’s more twisted than the corners of Cathy Gandolfo’s mouth. And on the surface, this year is no different: Rachael Ray, whose very name can elicit violent outbursts in this office, is the headliner, and Justin Guarini (are you fucking kidding me?) and Marlo from Dancing With The Stars (not obese or over 40 so I don’t know who that is) are also making “appearances.” But buried down somewhere on the bill is a gem, a queen, an amazing lady who has given the world more with one simple song than Rachael Ray could even fathom even if she spent the rest of her life raising money for AIDS and protesting the momjeans culture that has made her a superstargiantpieceofshit. This woman’s name is Maxine Nightingale, and well, remember that PhillyMag profile on Sweeney a few years ago?

For once this night, I actually recognize the music playing, if only from my parents’ favorite oldies stations: “Crimson & Clover,” “12:30 (Young Girls Are Coming to the Canyon)”, and Maxine Nightingale’s “Right Back Where We Started From,” Sweeney’s all-time favorite song, which he says makes him cry every time he hears it.

The preppy little bitch Dave Matthews fan who wrote that story actually thought he was joking. But around here, we know different. Press play and see what happens:

Strong men also cry. Strong men also cry. Love ya, Maxine. Can’t wait until Thursday!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 at 4:54 pm.