On the real: Just think of how amazing it would be for Lenny Dykstra to do a VH-1 Celebreality show where MC Serch from Third Bass svengalis Lenny into being like a hardcore Notorious B.I.G.-styled rapper named “Lenny Da Twizzla.” Da Twiz would always appear in charcoal grey pinstripe suits, chewing on Twizzlers and dropping verses between hooks stolen from SWV songs, sped up all Kanye-style. Ultimately, Da Twiz would get into a major rap beef with ALL OTHER LIVING RAPPERS, but it would get squashed when Da Twiz literally eats Ja Rule after they have words poolside at Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. The incident, of course, is captured on tape and fetches major dollars among baseball collectors on the black market as the only baseball/gangsta rap snuff film in existence. At trial, Da Twiz is acquitted.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 at 1:54 pm.