Even though the election has come and gone, we’ve still not been able to stop from keeping MSNBC on around the clock here on Susquehanna Island, and finally, yesterday, we were rewarded for our labors: Christopher Hitchens went on Hardball With Chris Matthews and bit a man’s neck, ripped the veins and muscles from his trunk, and then spat them over to Matthews, who seemed to accept them as he buried them in his backyard next to an old coffee can of twenties and assorted rawhide bone fragments. Or at least, that was just our read on it. And yes, Hitchens is completely batshit insane, a geyser of unprovable and undesirable facts, and who knows if anything that comes out of his mouth is true or not, but, but, but, just look at the man! Dear God, I love him. That hair! That lurching body language! The fact that at 6pm, on national television, he’s already got his top five buttons unbuttoned! Is he drunk? God, I can just smell his wild English musk from here! And this poor, Peter Beinart, from Time! He didn’t even see it coming! Outclassed on every level! Whoops, there goes his spleen! SPLAT! And what’s this? The Clintons have political prisoners being held in their name? And Bill has financial ties to dictatorships in Indonesia? More, Daddy! More!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 at 3:20 pm.