Difference Between Pittsburgh & Philadelphia Finally Settled: In Philly, You Wouldn’t Have To Fake Getting Punched For Rocking A McCain Bumper Sticker
We’re very, very curious this morning about the strange case of Ashley Todd, the Texan college student studying in Pittsburgh who claims to have been mugged at knifepoint, until her assailant managed to carve a “B” into her cheek as retaliation for her being a McCain supporter. For one, just before she claims the incident occurred, she Twittered that she was “on the wrong side of Pittsburgh” while looking for a Bank of America ATM. Isn’t any side of Pittsburgh “the wrong side of Pittsburgh?” What’s more, her timeline is all kinds of screwed up and even the cops are scratching their heads. Still, even more telling is that she claims her assailant was a 6’4″ black man — a bit of possible race-baiting that belies the simple fact that you’d be hard pressed to find a black person right now who’d care enough about John McCain to commit a crime like this when they could just as easily laugh at this poor, deluded sprite from Texas, and simply direct her to the nearest ATM while chanting things like “Drill, Baby, Drill!” OR, my new favorite, singing “God Bless America,” but substituting ALL the words with “Joe The Plumber.” So, yeah, we’re curious. And so is everyone else. But at least we’ve cleared up one thing: In Philly, there’d be no debate. This girl would have definitely gotten pre-emptively coldcocked. If only to save her from herself.
TheSmokingGun: Soon To Be Renamed “The McCain Supporter Files”
TMZ: Even TMZ Thinks You’re Full Of Shit
October 24th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
The best part is the backwards B. I guess once you carve that into your cheek and realize your mistake, you have to go ahead with the scam anyway. You don’t want to look like the idiot who screwed up her scam. You want to be the idiot who screwed up her scam but charged ahead anyways.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Like someone said in the comments on TMZ, perhaps the mugger was kneeling over her from the back, and the B is not backwards but, rather, upside down. Just saying.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Please, sell, only some butter-knife wielding maniac could produce such a tame-ass injury. Even if we did run with the “Butter Knife Blunt Carving Obama Bandit”, if someone cut you, however shallow, with a knife on the street (as opposed to your antiseptic hotel bedroom) would you refuse medical attention? Only if you didn’t want to face a medical professional who has seen self-inflicted “wounds” before.
Moreover, her own report says this “punishment” was given to her while the guy was kneeling on her chest. I suppose maybe he was dry tea-bagging her and got the B backwards because he was reaching around and couldn’t see his handiwork under his own ass. So now the Pitt police should be on the look out for a double joined butter knife wielding Obama bandit.
This isn’t the first time a Young Republican faked an assault to rally the cause. Last guy was caught in it and forced to fest. I give this one 12 hours before she steps down from her volunteer efforts.
October 24th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
@sell
You must live on kool aid.
October 24th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
And McCain-Palin VISITED HER ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously this is a GOP Rove Steve Schmidt hoax like the fake Joe The Plumber story… because the GOP has NOTHING, they lie. That’s all they did under Nixon, Ford, Reagan and the Bushes. FOX ran the headline in their ticker all last night, so another fake MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! And another lie serves its purpose. She was paid to do it. Duh… How stupid does the GOP think Americans are? Oops, oh yeah, I forgot about 2000 & 2004.
October 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
LOL !! C. The Impaler, that was hilarious….. I can’t stop laughing after reading your comment… hahaha!
October 24th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Is she 100% sure she didn’t get punched for being from Texas?
Also, she must have some sort of superhealing X-men shit going on, because when something sharp gouges into the skin on your face, the scar won’t show until a month later after the swelling and clumpy scabs have finally disappeared. Ask any car crash victim who got cut with large pieces of flying glass. It’s not like she got stitched up, either.
October 24th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I’ve had some facial injuries (hit by a car, surgery later to fix that, etc. etc.) and have seen other people after they’ve been injured so I do know what I’m talking about. Even if one generously gives her the benefit of the doubt by speculating that the supposed angry black dude could have had a very dull knife, the bruises are definitely fake.
This supposedly happened Wednesday night, but her face doesn’t look at all swollen (notice how symmetrical it is). The dark area under her left eye goes to the edge of her eyelid, but the whites of her eyes aren’t red at all. And bruises don’t turn that very dark color until the blood’s been sitting for a while; she certainly wouldn’t look like this the next day.
She’s like a white Tawana Brawley!
October 24th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
hey now CEF, not EVERYONE from texas is a bad deal like this. You think all of PA is like philly? ieBitter, angry, thinking we’re going to lose all the time and ALL democrats? :)
This is possibly one of the most moronic stories that the spoon fed voters will hear about once, use as factual evidence to support whatever belief they want, and look no deeper yet we sit here and stew at this kind of crap. whatever.
So it goes.