It’s Official: The Dodgers Are Arrogant Douchebags Who Must Be Crushed
So we have now watched the almost-brawl between the Phillies and Dodgers in the third inning of last night’s weird, wild game with the kind of repetition and obsession that would do any JFK conspiracy theorist proud. (Video at right.) And while the whole thing really is just a series of misunderstandings — honestly, L.A., we just have BAD PITCHING — last night’s epic “Hold-Me-Back”-style non-fight (Really, Manny? Really?) merely dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s on something we’ve been thinking all along in this series: The Dodgers are bunch of entitled pricks playing joylessly, with no actual love of baseball or for each other. Which not only makes them the Hillary Clinton of baseball, but also the most prime example we’ve seen of everything that Phillies are not. To the casual viewer, the Dodgers have no chemistry; Manny Ramirez‘s histrionics aside, you really do get the feeling that here is a club where it’s every man for himself, that kind of Braves baseball where the club is just cobbled together through a massive budget and then the pieces are left to congeal into something, or not. Either way, everybody’s getting paid. I don’t need to tell you this is a problem the Phillies don’t really have. But watching this shit play out last night — especially Dodgers catcher Russell Martin taking every opportunity possible to throw a bitch fit before the cameras (and let’s not even get started on Fox‘s obvious anti-Philly bias — only highlighted what an old-school, high-class act these Phillies really are. They crumbled under the pressure last night, sure, but they’ll be back. But something tells me the Dodgers could have fucked up chi for years to come. Oh well.
October 13th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Let’s not forget the stadium that Joe Buck called “One of the most beautiful venues in all of sport”…(umm…right) used to be the site of a Mexican American neighborhood…until they were all bought out or kicked out to build it. Nice.
And I wish they’d just let Manny loose to go America all over everybody’s ass…or something. In any case, he’d have been ejected for fighting, and we wouldn’t have to look at his ridiculous hair or watch him fiddling with his adult pacifier for the remainder of the game.
October 13th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I beg to differ about your “official:” position. If you went to college you would have learned about a fellow by the name of Sir Isaac Newton. This man told us by his third law of motion that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Phillies pitcher has an issue with throwing the ball outside the box. Instead he has found such targets as batter’s helmets and torsos. One will only take so much instigation before a reaction will arrise.
See, wasn’t that a bit more mature than the pathetic playground header of this article?
October 13th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Here’s my 2 cents: First, Moyer should have been pulled out before he even hit anyone. It wasn’t his night. We could see that before the 1st inning even ended. He should have been swapped out. Second, pitchers shouldn’t be hitting players. Honestly, while I think that catcher is a dbag, I don’t blame him for whining. Ever get hit in the knee by a 84mph baseball? I bet it hurts like a bitch.
As for the Dodgers, everyone worth a grain of salt knows they belong in Brooklyn, not LA. Their fans are a disgrace – I can’t believe how many empty seats there were. And their music sucks ass.
As for FOX, they can suck it too. I don’t need to hear the Rocky theme every time the Phillies get on base. Save the Rocky, guys. Has anyone from FOX been to Philadelphia in the last decade??? We’re not just cheesesteaks and Rocky anymore.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
@bmoredj: are you as mad at the dodgers for replacing one of LA’s myriad mex neighborhoods? what about the holocaust of hipsters moving into silverlake and echo park? where’s the outrage?
October 13th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Chavez_Ravine