Everybody knows that when the stars of stage and screen come to Philadelphia, generally, they stay at the greatest piece of real estate Philly has to offer: New York City. But every so often, someone will come around and, for whatever reasons, wind up having to stay here. And when they do, they generally stay at the venerable Four Seasons; or at least they used to. These days, the famous will also stay at the Sofitel (NBA dudes) or the Rittenhouse (what up Bob Dylan!) or the Ritz-Carlton (Michael Cera, we think). So just assuming that everyone famous who comes here stays at the Four Seasons has kind of become a misnomer — but it’s a misnomer that does the Four Seasons a world of good, and in this, the inaugural post in our new “A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Blowjobs” category, we doff our caps to the Inky’s Melissa Dribben for servicing beyond the servicey call of service. In this three-page whopper, Dribben runs through classic Four Season lore: That time Charles & Camilla stayed, that time Joan Rivers‘ husband took a deadening dose of Valium, and all those other times the Four Seasons works its genius marketing ploy of never telling who stays there so that, in essence, they can take credit for every famous person who ever comes through Philly staying there. Like right now! That just happened! And Melissa Dribben, you fell for it. But where others may have faltered, you excelled. For this, we at Philebrity handily nominate your story as A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Blowjobs. Today, we are ALL Melissa Dribben. Bravo, sweet lady, brav-oh.
Inky: Like A Mint On The Pillow Yo

This entry was posted on Monday, September 29th, 2008 at 3:14 pm.