Have you ever wondered what might have become of the Kevin Spacey character in American Beauty had he lived? This says perhaps more about me than I’d like you to know, but I think about it all the time. Because, not for nothing, the dude was on an interesting track: Dumped his uptight, frigid spouse; finally told his kid how it really was instead of some Daddy-Will-Conquer-All bullshit; started smoking weed and pumping iron and listening to hardcore WMGK jams; and finally, just before his final moments, found true empathy in his heart and something any God would recognize as, you know, goodness. Well, in my version, Spacey doesn’t die by the gun of Secret Military Homo Dad! He lives! Teaches himself graphic design, self-employs, and moves back to Philly, which he always loved! Meets a nice girl who doesn’t mind that he LIKES TAKING THE BUS, and then one day, her parents come to visit, and he gets to thinking…

I love my wife’s family. From Wisconsin. But checking out four different cheesesteak places in one Saturday?
All I know is that we did not need the roast pork.

OK, well, maybe it’s a bit too Raymond Carver, but damn. It still works.
YouTube: You Need At Least Some Of The Letters In SEPTA If You Wanna Spell META

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm.