Readers Write: We Have No Reason Whatsoever To Believe That The Person Who Wrote This Email Just Got Laid Off From Gyro

Local Asshole looses its Kool.

This past week philadlephia advertising agency, Gyro, loses one of its biggest clients: KOOL cigarettes.

Due to the loss 15 people got smoked.

why did they lose their Kool? Some say it may have some connection to a recent article in the Times:

what’s to come of Gyro without its big tobacco money…will they survive?

CEO Steve Grasse was supposedly quoted on friday, “I may have lost my kool but I didn’t lose my tool”

Shit. We would have fired you on the basis of atrocious capitalization alone. Sir, we’re becoming masters of Recession Chic and trust us, this is not it. Grace under pressure, bro. Send a resume to Red Tettemer, turn on the Olympics and make yourself a little espresso. It’s August.

11 Responses to “Readers Write: We Have No Reason Whatsoever To Believe That The Person Who Wrote This Email Just Got Laid Off From Gyro”

  1. Philly Chit Chat Says:

    According to an article in today’s Metro, hipsters smoke Parliament, so maybe the hipster Gyro agency should have anticipated their own market.

  2. applesauce Says:

    Steven Grasse isn’t a hipster. He’s part vampire, part snake. He feeds on the blood of hipsters and uses the creative juice he leeches from their veins to become stronger and more evil.

    And PCC- is this really the web site to have a ‘hipsters suck’ attitude? It’s not gonna get you far.

  3. jburnside Says:

    This just isn’t kool

  4. Philly Chit Chat Says:

    Sorry to offend, I was just making a comment. I know people at Gyro, and I don’t think of hipster as a bad thing, it’s part of the culture. I thought it was interesting to read that hipsters like Parliament cigarettes and I guess they don’t like menthol cigarettes. I think its ridiculous that anyone should get fired for losing one account, and it must be an excuse for something bigger. I always thought Gyro was a cool agency, I mean they run Sailor Jerry’s

  5. Walter Sobchak Says:

    PCC, it’s pretty common that when an agency loses a big client, layoffs follow. I wouldn’t necessarily call it “fired.”

  6. swag Says:

    @ applesauce: I take these online surveys and they often tell me I’m a hipster. And let me confirm for you: hipsters DO suck.

    There’s a reason why “hipster dufus” is now regarded as such a synonymous pairing.

  7. tips Says:

  8. bluestarphilly Says:

    The number isn’t 15. It was 9… and Gyro no longer runs Sailor Jerry. They sold that to William Grant, though they still do the advertising and such things.

  9. daughters Says:

    Doesn’t Gyro also represent RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company’s home of Camel cigarettes?

    Kools may not be such a big deal


    Hey! Hey!

    That’s a Persian rug. It’s from Persia.

    What is this shit here?

    Hold up! Hey, who’s been
    putting out their Kools on my floor?

    Who has been putting out
    their Kools on my floor?”

    – Eddie Murphy – Trading Places

  10. H.O.S. Says:

    I always thought he said “coals” meaning the hot part of a cig and aptly slanged so it could be any brand of cig. I stand corrected!

  11. leo Says:

    I heard sailor jerry was sold for 30 million dollarzzz. Gyro ain’t got to worry about being kool.

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