It’s been said all the way back since the advent of television that radio — good old fashioned terrestrial radio, not satellite or Internet — is in its final death rattle. If that’s true, it’s been an unbearably long, gruesome and cruel death… and it’s still going on! Or could it be that radio plays to all of our better media instincts, absorbing personalities, demographics, and the best and worst traits of either, and therfore could survive infinitely? We don’t have the answer to that, but this summer, Philebrity intern Dan Pierson will be listening to a different Philly-area station for a full hour once a week, blogging what he finds, and then publishing those findings here. After the jump, Dan confronts the current king of Modern Rock, WMMR 93.3FM and its Clown Prince, Pierre Robert.

Station: WMMR 93.3
Format: Modern Rock
Target Demographic: Those who consider themselves too old for classic rock, and too young for alternative. The destination for anyone wishing to hear all three stages of Chris Cornell’s musical metamorphis: The guilty pleasure Soundgarden, the boring Audioslave, and the craptastic solo odds and ends. Stuck between goons (Preston & Steve) and some guy named Jaxon (must be a bitch to spell that over the phone), it’s amazing a relic like Pierre Robert hasn’t given it up yet and run off to some commune. But he’s still here, entertaining us Citizens, and luring those older listeners to MMR’s airwaves.

1:30pm
Let it Die – Foo Fighters
Live, Collective Soul, and Blues Traveler. Shouldn’t this bill have happened 10 years ago, when these bands were on the decline? I didn’t even know Blues Traveler still played together, thought the fat guy with the harmonica would have called it quits by now. Best part: Concert tickets are only $39.50. What a steal!

A Message from our Advertisers: Snapple White Tea, VW Jettas, Power Windows, Coors Light, Anti Smoking. Advertisements as boring as MMR’s song selection.

1:45pm
Dream On – Aerosmith
Pierre talks calls from people asking for requests for the second song of today’s Double Shot Tuesday. A drunk caller named “Diamond from Overbrook” requests Toys in the Attic, and really now, how can Pierre say no? Philadelphia Radio, antagonizing afternoon drunks all over the Delaware Valley.
Toys in The Attic – Aerosmith
Troublemaker – Weezer
Say It Ain’t So – Weezer
Smart song selection, luring that key 18-24 age demographic back with some =W=.

2:00pm
Start Me Up – The Rolling Stones
Honky Tonk Woman – The Rolling Stones
After Pierre plays a Stones song, you sort of hope he will tell some story about hanging out with Keith and Mick after a show at the Spectrum, talking about some obscure jazz guitarist. I would love to believe that Mick and Pierre are close friends, but I suspect that it’s closer to Pierre having Mick’s cell number from years ago plugged into his phone and using it to pick up the youngs.

Pierre’s Vinyl Cut: Runaway – Bon Jovi
Pierre is so excited about the Philadelphia Soul’s victory, but especially excited about the potential for a free Bon Jovi concert. This guy is the owner of a championship franchise!
Wild in The Streets – Bon Jovi

2:15pm
Payin’ the billz: Strayer Online University, WMMR live at the bars, Robbins Diamonds, Lipton Green Tea, Power Windows and Siding, F.C. Kerbeck, Childhood Behavioral Therapy. Childhood therapy might be too late for MMR’s listeners, but that doesn’t mean their kids must suffer too. Stop the cycle of Musical Violence!
For Whom The Bell Tolls – Metallica
Fade To Black – Metallica
MMR loves metalheads too.

Wrapping things up, the musical choices of WMMR are predictable at best and insulting at worst. Yet even after a double shot of Metallica, I’m still in awe of Pierre. A walking contradiction, he is a man who lovingly reflects on his hippie past, yet shills a wine with his mug on it. He may be stuck at a station trying to distance itself from classic rock, but like a captain on his ship, Pierre Robert will stay at the helm of Philadelphia Radio, even as the boat crashes and burns.

Previously: Radio Crimes, WIP, 610
Radio Crimes, WMGK, 102.9
Radio Crimes, WIOQ, 102.1

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am.