Dept. Of Last Laffs: In Reality, Tucker Max Is A Much, Much Bigger Douche Than Anthony DiMeo

Oh jeez, remember this? We first met über-bro Tucker Max (pictured, um, with “you”) back in The Great Blueberry Wars of 2006, when local promoter/publicist/blueberry heir/Rittenhouse ubiquitron Anthony DiMeo III seemingly went on a rampage and threatened to sue anyone who ever said anything kind of dicky about him on the Internet. (There was a lot of us.) At the time, we were unfamilar with Max’s ouvre, and when he contacted us to co-conspire/commiserate about DiMeo, it was one of those situations where saying you don’t like one person immediately puts you in the company and high esteem of people you like even less. After a judge ultimately dismissed DiMeo’s case, citing it as “frivolous” to take people who talk shit about you on a messageboard to court, we pretty much forgot about Tucker Max altogether. That was until Gawker started running excerpts from the script to Max’s forthcoming film adaptation of his book of the same name, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. And with the benefit of two years’ worth of perspective, it began to hit us: Maybe we owe yon Ant-ny an apology. Before you roll your eyes so hard and so fast that they begin to make hollow wooden sounds in your head, grant us the benefit of some comparisons.
Whereas DiMeo seemed to merely suffer from an outsize ego that comes with privelege, the bulk of Max’s humor seems to suffer from an outsize egotism that stems from his great pride in being white and male, which would be gross enough even if it weren’t completely out of date. While DiMeo certainly seemed to build himself up for the ladies, Max uses women primarily to make himself feel better by debasing them for yuks from from his “bros,” which is usually the first big sign that someone really, really likes cock but for whatever reasons, cannot be man enough to admit that to themselves. And whereas DiMeo got press in these pages and others just for being kind of cheesy, Max is actually borderline sociopathic, a kind of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho without the taste or, truth be told, balls.
Tucker Max is everything we were born to hate. We’re sorry, Anthony. Can you ever forgive us?
Gawker: This Is What Preston And Steve Would Be Like If They Read A Book

  • ride1076

    Tucker Max and his website indirectly contributed to the demise of one of my relationships.

  • tips

    You don’t just drop a bomb like that and then not tell the whole story. Total party foul, yo.

  • http://howtowaltz.blogspot.com Rock On

    Even as a recovering Tucker Max fan, this is appalling. (Hey, we all did things in college we’re not proud of.) I can’t even believe #6 on the second post about it made its way in there. Dude is a one trick pony.

  • ride1076

    Oh, sorry. Anyway, I dated a guy for two years, and around the 1.5 year mark he discovers Tucker Max’s website. This was in early 2005. It’s not long before bf, who already had an inclination and affinity towards being a wiseass, now proudly wore the badge of “asshole”. He turned all his bros onto the site, and mutual male friends of ours would comment proudly to me about how my boyfriend really was a true jerk, and say this not without the wistful smirk and slow, thoughtful shaking of the head. Actually, come to think of it, Tucker Max could have ended up doing the same for those guy’s relationships as well.

    Long story short, we broke up a few months later. To be fair (although to whom at this point I have no idea), bf had this ‘after two years you shit or get off the pot’ mentality, and that mark in the relationship was quickly approaching. Tucker Max just provided a little encouragement and reinforcement I guess.

  • tips

    And thus, Clockcleaner was born!

  • mikemikemike

    I stayed at a friend’s place in Chicago once, and he had a copy of Max’s book. I thumbed through it for a few minutes.

    My dear Lord, that book is depressing and annoying. He is a douchebag of the highest order and I can’t believe our society has come to the point where we award behavior like his. Also, I guarantee the majority of his schtick is just made up. I know guys like him–most of whom are big fans of his–and they lie about just about everything.

    Also, he’s not really that good of a writer, subject matter aside.