To Christophers Mother,
I hope I provide some fond memories.

Rich Ringer
rringer@ssctv.net

Oh Christopher:
Where does your spirit dwell?
Your mother’s tears have formed so many
Patterns
Crying on your cold, white,
sterile sheets,
There are no spaces left
So they spill at Heaven’s Gut
And for now
I sit quietly and wait,
Finding solace from my grief
While asking how,
Oh how,
Dear God.
Do I unlock the
Mystery of what’s become of Chris.

**********************************************
I know his light shines bright in Heaven now:

Christopher accepted Christ when he was four years old. It was after a long custody battle. To have a family, a father, mother and child together again was the ideal for him. He was so happy. In fact, so much so that he poured a bucket of sand down the bathroom sink so the devil could not get in and break up his family ever again. The pipes in the apartment complex were backed up for days. We were a happy family and his father and I went on to have another child, his little sister Candice. He fell in love with her immediately and helped take care of her and dressed her in funny outfits. Five years later, we moved to a small town, Wyoming DE. I wanted to put down roots and have a normal childhood for Chris and his sister. I’m sorry, I truly tried for 16 years to have what Christopher always wanted “A Family”, with a mother and a father who were not fighting. Later through marital problems, Christopher always told me in his nine year old wisdom: “Mom, I understand, you just want some peace and quiet, and off he went to take care of his screaming sister.” My train derailed so many times throughout his childhood, but I know this one thing. His childhood was happy. Sometimes he was judged because he thought others thought of him as “poor” or snubbed and mocked him because others saw his parents in a bad light. Christopher could not be the person he was without first having parents who adored and loved him with a passion that will never end and who tried to teach him right from wrong and to have a good character. Now again my life is derailed as I have lost my best friend of 36 years, my confidant, my son, my only son.

Christopher was always so happy and proud to introduce me to his friends. I never knew quite why, but I guess it is because he wanted me to be a part of his group. And now I feel I am. The Orphan Family has a mother. And I’d just like to thank the outpouring of cards, emails, memorials, and testimonies of his life that has helped sustain me. Please send more as I am insatiable when it comes to hearing stories about my son and how he will live on in my grandson, Jack. What a gift Chris was and will continue to be. The best son a mother could ever have.

I’m so sorry you are gone Chris. I will miss our little encounters of sharing stories and laughs at how beautiful life can be.

All my love to you and your family,
Mike

you always remembered my birthday even if i forgot yours.

the saddest books i’ve ever read were recommended by you.

your nasal voice drove me crazy at four am.

your insistance on playing your song four thousand times in a row so that krista, frankie and i could all acknowledge the momentary, yet genius, “ping” you inserted in the middle was enough to make me want to kill you. but i listened anyway.

the late nights – “bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.”

the brian wilson disaster – your white cords stained dark red. the detainment. enough said.

when my heart would break, and it would with great frequency, you would come to my defense – sit on the phone, write me sweet emails.

who’s going to be excited when i finally meet a boy as wonderful as you?

when you called me darlin’ it made me feel… i can’t explain… it made me feel like i deserved something okay from this world and that you had confidence that it would come.

i’m sorry i didn’t listen to the record you sent me. i am sorry that i didn’t always call you back right away. i’m so sorry i forgot your last birthday.

i love you.

Please share photos of Christopher by visiting http://www.flickr.com.The login is christophertuckerforever@yahoo.com; the password is
rememberingct. A slide show is being prepared for the celebration at the park.

His kindness. His gentleness.

He told me that having a kid was one of the greatest things in the world. He was so happy about it. He was happy about a lot of things that day, something about playing more music and a decent job. It was a dream combination for a talented musician and things were looking up. We just drove around that one night, talked and ran some errands. He was cool like that, helpful – thoughtful, he was not in the least bit irritated by us wanting to get cheesesteaks and do touristy stuff like that. Always cool and laid back. He always had a smile on his face and often asked me politely if I needed anything.

He lovingly supported us through thick and thin. He was at almost every show the last 8 years. I didn’t see him this time around, perhaps I rubbed him the wrong way or something last year. God, I hope not. God bless your heart Christopher. Rest in peace brother. Hopefully we will play a bigger and brighter stage together this time around. Rest in Peace.. Bobby Hecksher – The Warlocks

Great words from a good soul.

Rest in peace Chris. -Waltuz

My very heartfelt condolences to all his friends and family for your unimaginable loss. I hope that you (and I) may all eventually find peace and acceptance.

best,
Jeanne Kohl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf-vzoaufU4

You are everywhere and I so need that right now.

I love you. I miss you. My heart is shattered and every day is like “marching up and down this Sisyphus hill… where the rock goes rollin’ down the hill again….”

Thank you for never letting me down. Except that one time for Spiritualized at the Wiltern. But you missed the best show I have ever seen and now I am sorry I sold your ticket and we don’t have that memory to add to our very long list. Pink Elephant margarita days and Heliotrope nights. All my stolen books and sunglasses I would eventually find in your car. (Good thing you gave as many as you stole.) The best brunch ever. The second best brunch ever. The best emails ever. (All 9,356 of them.) The best spellers ever (a tie, though you hated to admit it.) The best late night phone calls ever. The best voicemails ever. (All of them ending in ‘I love you, darlin’. Half of them with an added ‘and we’re gonna be okay.’) The best car ride ever. The best stolen car ride ever. The best encouragement ever. Always. There were so many bests with you… and I will treasure them always.

“so when you’ve lost control and you’re a blackened soul
and all of your body is drawn, what keeps you keepin’ on is love.
it’s love.”

Thank you for showing me so much love, Christopher.

“and I wish I was on the way… to you my love…”