Hey Philebrity Gays: You know, it’s been a while since we simultaneously did something nice for Our Gays and subverted the dominant paradigm. I mean, what was it, the Palaré party? (BTW, Wigs, Factorial, and Creed: This party totally needs to come back. Consider this your Big Gay Batman Signal in the sky.) Well, no time like the present: Come August, Philly will decide who its new Mr. Gay is. Now, a quick perusal of the Mr. Gay particulars reveal that Mr. Gay is, in all likelihood, one of these events that sets The Gays back like 20 years every time it happens: It’s totally geared toward the Aberzombie archetype, a drag queen (Britanny Lynn) is the host, and the judges are (I bet you can guess before I even say it) Mark Segal, Michael Musto and the HIV+ guy from Project Runway. (What, no Jay McCarroll?) None of these people have ever even heard of Franz Ferdinand. So in an effort to fight everything that is Lame and Obvious, Philebrity would like to “sponsor” a Mr. Gay contestant this year, which basically means we will do everything in our power to try and rig this thing so that Our Boy moves on to the national finals with a (no) chance (whatsoever) to become Mr. Gay America. AND IT COULD BE YOU! That’s the good news. But here’s the bad news: There are requirements. We go over them after the jump.

OK, well, first of all, there are three categories:

Prize Categories:
- Overall Philadelphia Mr. Gay winner
- Mr. Philadelphia Fitness
- Mr. Congeniality

We’re gonna go out on a limb here and say that any potential “Mr. Philadelphia Fitness” is probably not reading Philebrity, but you should be somewhat fit. But be ironic about it, at least. So if we can carry our weight in that category, we’re also looking for someone who can absolutely rock the Mr. Congeniality contest. You need to be super nice, but obviously, you’re also representing Philebs, so you also need to probably not mean it. Here are some other rules we noted:

-The Contestant must self-identify as a gay or bi-sexual male and sign a Release Form that assigns rights to all images including film of his participation in the contest series to Community Promotions & Nightlifegay.com.

This means that you have to actually be gay and are not afraid of signing your life away. Mr. Gay, and Philebrity, demand these things.

-The Delegate is not currently in open criminal proceedings, on felony probation and does not have a felony record.

We’re thinking this just shot a lot of our potential contestant pool way the hell down. Why so uptight, Mr. Gay? And finally…

-Contestant must provide attire for the following competitions: Evening wear and swimwear - both of the contestants choosing.

If this thing gets enough steam, we can try and hook you up with some free clothes. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So do you think you have what it takes? If you do, send an email to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com with “MR. GAY” in the subject header. Selected candidates will be subject to a rigorous screening process on Philebrity.com and we will most likely run this into the ground. Philebrity is in no way affiliated with Mr. Gay or any of its sponsors. Honestly, we’re just doing this to prevent the City of Philadelphia from further national-scale loss and embarrassment. Good luck, and may the best Gay win!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 9th, 2008 at 12:16 pm.