Since we last checked in with Brianna Taylor, 215 native and howlingly embarrassing ambassador for All That Is Trashy In Our Suburbs, here’s what happened: Some cheesefuck L.A. wannabe-Coldplay band honed in on her in the Star Wars Trash Compactor Scene that is Real World XX, and got her to “lay some tracks” on their “demo.” (BRIANNA IS A SINGER!) When Brianna heard these tracks, she was so moved that she cried in the studio. Then went home with 4 CD-Rs, and smoked a whole pack of Newports (why is it always Newports, God?) and cried some more and thanked the academy while she listened to herself on a boombox. (We think it was Coral who said, “Who has a boombox anymore?”) But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, because Brianna wants you to know she keeps it strictly street-level, yo: In the next episode, the gang goes to Cancun (presumably because no other country would really be into the obvious terror-target risk Real Worlders in 2008 represent) and Brianna FREAKS OUT when somebody (that annoying Sarah girl) mentions that, you know, getting arrested for fighting other girls is crazy trashy and all. I mean, like whooooaaaaa Nelly freaks out. We mention this because this week is the Season Finale, and it will most likely be the last time we ever care about Brianna if things turn out like they usually do. But know this, Brianna: Your mom and your sis are right. After this, you are going to have to start everything in your life all over, from scratch.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 7th, 2008 at 10:19 am.