Now that we’re knee-deep in the midstream of Wedding Season — three weddings, two new engagements in our immediate circle, with seemingly more on the way — we’re getting to be bona fide Wedding Critics. As the season wears on, we’re becoming not unlike TV golf announcers, lowly intoning commentary over the chicken piccata in tones meant not to disturb: “They couldn’t have wished for a more beautiful day,” or “Who’s family is THAT woman in? She looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein!” And it gets us to thinking: Maybe love is not a crock of shit, and perhaps when two people pair off for good (or two years), they are playing to all of our better instincts regarding family and community. Then we read something like this:

Beware of any dishware or glassware you cannot afford to replace. Inevitably the day will come when one of those beautiful crystal wineglasses will shatter. If you cannot afford to replace it, you may want to consider something cheaper. Or at least register for several extras. Same goes for china, which can be hard to replace due to patterns’ going out of stock.

And then ovaries cringe, testicles ascend and implode, mountains crumble into the sea and God weeps. Buck up, little ones. It’s still only June.
Inky: Does This Le Creuset Make My Ass Look Fat?

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 26th, 2008 at 11:27 am.