City Could Potentially Rake In Hundreds Of Thousands Off Arctic Splash Cartons Alone

asSince we picked up and moved the Philebrity HQ to Fishtown nearly a year ago, one of the things we’ve been maddeningly infuriated by on a daily basis is the Choad Class’ cavalier attitude towards littering here. Old people do it. Young kids do it. People driving their cars while beating their kids, talking on the phone and blasting Eminem — seriously, people actually listen to Eminem up here — somehow manage to do it. And the single most littered object in the whole ‘hood? No, silly, it’s not HUMAN SOULS, but there is plenty of that, to be certain. It’s actually Arctic Splash Iced Tea containers. We’ve remarked on this before — and there’s even been an art project devoted to it — but after a while, it’s not even cute. It’s fucking moronic and self-hating and basically violates the social contract of living in a city that even these fucking mouth-breathers, on some level, must understand. And lucky day: If they don’t, there is now in the City of Philadelphia a $150 fine if you’re stupid enough to get caught discarding your Splash over your shoulder like you’re friggin’ Vinnie Barbarino (or his pregnant teen sister). So next time, my white-teed, Methfaced friend, give a think before you chuck your drink. This has been a public service message from Philebrity.
KYW: Fuck It, Don’t Chuck It; Put It In A Bucket!

6 Responses to “City Could Potentially Rake In Hundreds Of Thousands Off Arctic Splash Cartons Alone”

  1. julia Says:

    Can they do something about the trashmen who just flip trashcans over onto the street rather than dump it in their trucks?

  2. Allan Smithee Says:

    Besides garbage & litter, We’re also #1 on the spit and mucus flinging front.

  3. TKup Says:

    I’m laughing but it’s not even funny, it’s so true. Almost as bad as the Artic Splach trash is the takeout menus.

  4. TKup Says:

    Re: Julia.

    Seriously. I’ve been meaning to catch my garbage people on video to document their carelessness. The street is always the dirtiest after on pick-up day, and it seems like it should be just the opposite.

  5. Handsome Pete Says:

    Re: TKup

    The Center City sweepers always end up finishing the job.

    And I can’t imagine they get paid anywhere near the trashmen.

  6. Tell them about the Twinkie Says:

    The only thing funnier than listening to people complain about littering in Philly is the idea of Philly cops writing a ticket for littering.

    Welcome to town.

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