Alt-weeklies: They don’t just suck where you live. OK, we’re kidding — there’s always a decent/pretty good one here or there, like The Stranger, but you and I both know that’s the exception that makes the rule. And if you think the Weekly is bad, you should see what passes for “alt” and “weekly” out in the hinterlands. It’s rough. Nevertheless, AS WE SPEAK, the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies Convention is officially underway as of this morning, and Philebrity will be covering it here and there, provided it is not completely fucking boring or sad, and we acknowledge here that there’s a good chance that it will be. However, AAN is all about silver linings, and here are a few:
· This is a convention made up almost entirely of out-of-town, underpaid, disenfranchised writers and editors. If you can’t get these people to buy you drinks all night and then perform oral sex on you, then maybe YOU need to give up entirely.
· Tim Whitaker‘s unintentionally hilarious benediction in PW only drives the point home that if he’d been enacting all the shit he says in it, not only would PW be hosting the thing (and not City Paper), Philebrity itself WOULD NOT EXIST!
· There are lots of parties at this thing (check schedule link above), so if you’re a writer or Philebrity intern looking to leave town, just show up at one of these things and lobby for a job editing, oh, I don’t know, whatever the Weekly is in St. Louis. But wait, then you’d be in St. Louis. Abort! Point is, not only is everyone at AAN looking to score, they’re also looking to fire someone back home. Fun.
In any case, to both our visitors and locals looking to prey on them, enjoy and be safe! And if you’ve got any funny goss or tips, feel free to forward them along. We know your pain… intimately.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 5th, 2008 at 2:35 pm.