With the steady approach of June 1 — that’s the eviction date for the Boy Scouts of America, so due because they simply cannot admit that, yo, scouting is kind of gay, too — we here at Philebrity fantasize more and more about organizing a parade of gay ex-Scouts to march through town and up to the Scouts’ HQ, chanting things like “Hell No, We Like Dick And We’re Webelos!” and “1, 2, 3, 4, What Do You Think That Snake-Venom Sucking Badge Is For?” Adding to the hilarity: The Scouts have just filed suit against the city, using the venerable “White Man’s Burden/Y’All Brutalizin’ ME!” defense:

The lawsuit — filed Friday — says that because the city was opposed to the local Boy Scouts’ “constitutionally protected expression,” the city decided to “punish” it by demanding that the local Scouts “repudiate” the national membership policy. When the locals refused to do that, the lawsuit says the city “took punitive action” and demanded it vacate its local headquarters or pay $200,000 annual rent. The local Boy Scouts currently pay $1 annual rent for space at N. 22nd and Winter Street.

Aww, is Pouty Scouty upset because because he’s being “punished” to act like the rest of the world and just get over whether someone in your organization likes dick or not? Oh come on. We were scouts once. We remember the troop leaders. And you know what wethinks? Wethinks you doth protest too much.
Clout: You Can Be Gay, Just Don’t Be Gay
Previously: Boy Scouts To Be Awarded Prestigious Eviction-By-Laughable-Homophobia Badge (And Up To $2.6 Mil) On June 1

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 at 11:10 am.