Jason Fetz is short. Jason Turner is gay. And they are friends. But not just ordinary friends. They’re a special kind of friend that almost everyone is lucky enough to have at least once in their lives, that kind of friend with whom you can exorcise the world’s thunderous cruelty by saying the meanest, lowest, most destructive things possible about them — and just as importantly, they may do this to you right back. Together, they run a blog called Philidiots, which takes the frienemy concept to a entirely new level. Each blog post is tit-for-tat; Short Jason says something, and then Gay Jason says something. Short Jason often contends, for instance, that Gay Jason was born a girl, his childhood experiences nothing so much as Jeffrey Eugenides’ Middlesex:

jason turner never participated in sports growing up.

It wasn’t due to his lack of a desire to compete, which he had in spades, it was more owing to his difficulty being naked with other girls in the locker room. jason turner knew he was different from the other girls, and he would often look at the little nub protruding from his vagina in shame. “what is that thing?” he wondered. “and why aren’t my breasts budding like the other girls?”

Gay Jason, for his part, contends that Short Jason likes to, among other things, fuck dogs.

The moment he saw him he knew it was love, as he drove his flaccid member into his new canine friend. The howls were strong. As Jason Fetz fucked that dog, he smiled. Prince was his love and his bark filled the room. Jason Fetz barked back. Their barks could be heard for miles, and as his horny boner finished in the dogs sexy hole Jason Fetz made his final yelp.

This was the only way Jason Fetz knew how to say “I love you too”

Together, they are the best of friends. This is their life, and for all the world to see, this — this — is their blog.
Philidiots: Friends Loving One Another

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 11:58 am.