Pittsburgh To Join Our Friends In Canada In Gleefully Desecrating Statue Of The Botox Ghost
But frankly, it’s unoriginal, disappointing, and if you close your eyes, it’s easy enough just to pretend it isn’t there. Much like Pittsburgh, in fact.
A nefarious plot seems to have hatched by Pittsburgh fans to besmirch one of our fair city’s most famous symbols.
The outrageous objective: Put a Penguins jersey on the Rocky statue!Apparently, bad blood is a-brewing between Pennsylvania’s two biggest cities – all because they meet each other in the Stanley Cup playoffs, starting Friday night.
Yo Pittsburgh, since the Canadians didn’t take our suggestions — “Set off a plastique explosive in Rocky’s crotch. Cut off the head, fill it with Molson, pass it around, and drink from it. Melt it down into your very own Stanley Cup.” — they’re all yours. And free of charge, Pittsburgh, we’ll add a few more things you can do to the Rocky statue:
· “Let it” beat you so you can advance in the playoff without having to have your teeth knocked in… no, wait, wrong list.
· Gorge it on your amazing culinary and music scenes.
· Try to tell it the differences, really, between yourself and Reading, PA. Hiyo! The statue will be embracing most dishonorable seppuku in no time flat.
Inky: Put A Friggin’ Michael Fichman On It For All We Care
Previously: And Now, An Open Letter To The Good People Of Canada
May 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Granted, the Rocky gag is uninspired and flat-out stupid. Granted, too, that Pittsburgh is a backwater compared to Philly in many respects. But then there’s this: How many twenty- and early-thirtysomethings born and raised in Philly know what it’s like to win a major sports championship? About as many as those who hail from Reading. Zing! Here’s to a great series, and a lotta great shit talk to go with it.