Rumblings: “No, Seriously, It Was THIS BIG!”
>>> Cocaine: Want some? OK, just go down to City Hall and pick it up, seeing that there’s 748 less pounds on the streetz. 748 pounds is like two Michael Nutters, and come to think of it, two Michael Nutters made entirely of cocaine that can walk and talk and spew cocaine from their cocaine mouths could really shape this town up. [Inky]
>>> Penn scientists say drinking excess water does nothing unless you’re Pat Burrell stuck in Mojave. [FoodConsumer]
>>> Mary Carey: Jason Smith needs some shots or something. [Inky]
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Make sure your interns have a math class on their transcripts.
Michael Nutter weighs in at 374 lbs? Big guy ain’t that big. You’re still talking a pretty husky Dude if you say the bust was the equivalent of 3 Nutters,.
Gotta say, love Ramsey’s “hanging in back” posture in this photo, as if he’s not really there for the photo op, just to bust heads if things get out of control in the press gaggle.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
now hold on just a minute there bub… the allegory alluded to a pair of imaginary nutters (right on) which would be spewing cocaine from their cocaine mouths. let’s say the two cocaine nutters weigh 160 lbs each and let’s say, furthermore, that they’re spewing cocaine at the rate of seven lbs per minute and got tired of spewing after, oh, an hour on the dot. that would just about take care of it. oh wait, they’d still be short by about 8 lbs. which i’m guessing you just snorted to write your dicktard post.
philebrity’s interns don’t need to take a math class. you need to take an english class.
on the table!
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Everyone is so angry. Must be bad coke.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Fuckermost, the problem with coke is that maybe it gets you through that elementary physics course, but you don’t retain any of it.
I’m pretty sure whatever you’re trying to engineer in this apology for Philebs math (or slight against Nutter’s weight?) violates basic laws of mass and energy. Your two 160lb Nutter cocaine golems are spewing cocaine of the remainder weight … which comes from where? Either you’re still talking about 374 lb. Nutter coke golems burning themselves down to a lean 160 of anthropomorphic powder, or your suggesting a Nutter coke golem would somehow be “into” some sort of high pressure cocaine enema resulting in a high pressure discharge of the oral cavity terminus (i.e. “spewing”) … need I go on?
In short, ready to tumble Ramsey’s eying you from the back row. He smells your sweat, and sees your twitching. He doesn’t have to tell you you’re on notice.
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
looks like it’s gonna be a quiet night at the barbary this weekend.
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Actually, one could conceive of a pair 160 lb. Nutter coke golems that were celestial equivalents of, say, neutron stars of incredible mass, emitting plumes of gamma rays (or in this case, coke) into deep space. Has such a thing been photographed by Hubble?
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I will transform this into a childrens novel entitled “Kids from AP Physics Do Drugs”