I have always tried to avoid writing about the iPhone for three reasons:

• The iPhone has enough press already.
• They don’t cut me a check for the free advertising.
• There’s only two types of people: the privileged who own the phone, and us broke ass mothas carrying around Samsungs. And trust me: I can’t risk splitting my readership like Ralph Nader.

When I wrote about Google Android in November, I shamed Apple for their diss on developers. Initially, Steve Jobs and his turtleneck deemed “web apps” the future of third-party applications. What it really meant was that the iPhone would be as closed as a country club. I got a little ahead of myself in metaphor, comparing the rivalry between Android and the iPhone to the Ramones and the Sex Pistols. I, uhm, stand behind those statements. But now, the rivalry metaphor has drifted into the world of boy bands, striking up memories of those tense years of middle school when N’Sync and the Backstreet Boys were fighting for the hearts of 14 year-olds everywhere.

I know what you’re thinking; “WTF does that mean, BJK?” It actually makes a lot of sense contextually. Let your mind drift to your VFW and firehall punk show days. Then, you had two choices: Pinned leather jackets and All-Stars, or studded leather jackets and Doc Martins. The Ramones inspired two decades of terrible pop-punk; the Sex Pistols inspired two decades of bands like Anti-Flag. You or someone you were making out with after the show was one or the other.

With two separate business models, Apple’s closed platform and Google’s open-source platform really did separate the mosh pits. Now that Apple has opened up their model, the two are competing for the same market of developers, sans a fat falsetto singer. A spin-off developer, a la Justin Timberlake, is inevitable. Somewhere in the background, Microsoft poses as Guns N’ Roses.

But differences remain. Apple is still somewhat closed. For reasons of security and quality, developers will have to pitch their ideas to the company, and work under their rules. Google is more lawless, offering the chance for anyone to jump in the game without limitations. This is a plus for Apple, in the consumer realm. One of the reasons their products are so successful is that their about quality, not quantity. For developers, Google is king.

Apple also has the benefit of their distribution model. Users will most likely prefer the easy access iTunes downloads will provide. Google will rely on established services like Handango. And if anyone’s ever used Handango, the experience is hard to enjoy. Meanwhile, developers will receive a handsome cut of 70% of the revenue with Apple. Handango offers only 50% of the cut. This will leave many switching to the Mac platform for mobile development, begging to question whether Android will be able to keep hold of great developers.

Even with these differences, the song remains the same. The contest will ultimately come down to handset design (which the iPhone is winning without a doubt) and quality of software (which also leans slightly in favor of the iPhone). Despite that some are saying that Android’s SDK is more impressive, unless Google comes up with some smart ideas for distribution, the most notable news to come out of their camp will be that Lance Bass is gay.

Brian James Kirk is a writer and adventurer living in Philadelphia. By adventuring, he means occasionally to friends’ homes for games of Balderdash. If you know a Philadelphia technology scoop that would fit this space, you are graciously encouraged to get in touch.

Previously: Technologicology Goes To College: The Silicon Valley Gossip Dissertation

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 at 1:43 pm.