This Week, A Very Special Episode Of Family Ties
After the jump, Miss Kelly White boldly goes where no partytrainsoldier would dare: Drinking at the neighborhood local with her sister.
This Shit Is Coors Light
I’m in JR’s Place (2663 E Norris St.) for half a minute and already there’s a Coors Light in my hand. What’s it doing there? It’s like the Hi-C drink box of beer. A linebacker of a regular has snagged an arm around me, his toothless, wild-haired companion tugs me away and buries me into her chest. I’ve never met these people and they ask me to be in their wedding. Across the room, my sister and her friends are too pussydick to aid me. 
“What was that?”, Little Baby J White gives a face like she wasn’t having a laugh at my expense.
She’s lucky I don’t run off to Barbary Land after that. Taxis hardly come this far out or I’d be en route to Fluid. No, no. I have to prove that I can cross-pollinate at Everyman’s Bar.
Every chair is busted so it doesn’t matter where I sit, but nothing breaks as much as it sways. There’s some live music in the back with the nobodies/never-wills who are absolutely vital for this neighborhood to exist.
I’m pretending to watch lacrosse on TV when old friends crawl up. They’re not flawless big deals. They don’t try to tell me that they are. My sister doesn’t know what Talkin’ Shit is. She’d slap my face in if she read it. She is precious like that.
We catch up over shots of SoCo & lime. The room is laid with smoke that doesn’t provide enough cover for young poon as it tries to weave in with the old. Grinding is something that gives away your age. But nobody’s telling. A girl hands us some Thin Mints during last call.
“Aramingo Diner, Richmond Diner, Aramingo Diner!”, the barmaids holler, sending us off.
DO WANT/DO NOT WANT
Chanel Choco Phone/FaFi for M.A.C.
That Edgy Euro Look Of Being Cold/That Unattractive Look Of Being Warm
New Night Alert
2/23-International Lover at Raven Lounge w/ DJ Diamond Girl=Jet-setting girls & dutch rap
3/2-Fall From Grace at the Barbary w/ DJ Deejay=Life anthems & old school jams
3/7-Excess at Medusa w/ Andy Pry=Sensual self-indulgence & Lamborghinis
TrendFucking
Much as we try, it doesn’t seem like white people are passionate about anything and have absolutely no culture. We dance funny, our food has no flavor but the essence of butter, and we care about SPF. You’d be surprised at what WPs have a fondness for, and may even find yourself nodding in recognition because you needed a blog to flesh out the white identity that you always knew was there somewhere. Front as you want, but don’t deny your vanilla.
