For days now, our thoughts have been dominated by this one truly bizarre post tucked in late last weekend on Philadelphia Will Do. Why? Because while it is our chosen profession to witness (and yes, produce) blog meltdowns day in, day out, we hardly ever see one that is actually, truly, a real live meltdown. It is worrisome. And while it’s generally a given in the local biz that Daniel McQuade is more or less the Dave Barry of the Philly blog scene, much like we are with the real Dave Barry, we give the kid a break. Everybody’s got to make a living somehow. Neverthless, we’ve been staring at the screen all week, and we think might be able to shed some light on…

Ron Paul: Greatest American Ever?

Little inside secret how this business works (1): Somebody sends out a blast email or Myspace to all the people in the entire world and all the regularly-updated Philly blogs see it and we all post it. (2) [...] By inside secret, of course, I mean common sense; yes, this is why everyone’s going to have to start doing more of their own reporting (3) or telling the best lame jokes and posting puppies. (Dibs on the last one.) (4) Some fun changes are coming and that is why things have been somewhat slower, blah blah blah (5); yes, I will update my links list.
Anyway, Philebrity posted Down The Shore With Jen before I did a while back, and so I didn’t. (I knew they were going to beat me to it, too.) (6) And I read it again today and it looks fun and it’s a book about the Jersey shore written by a young person in Collingswood. [...]

Another secret of the Internet that is if you put “Ron Paul” in a headline, all the nerds with Ron Paul alerts will come to your blog. (7) He’s more popular than Alycia Lane. [...]
Oh, no, was I just nice to Ron Paul? Or at least not mean? This just won’t do. Clearly, I need more sleep. G’nite. (8)

… after the jump.

1. OK, this seems simple enough: In this post, Daniel is going to throw back the curtains and let you know how this blog shit gets done. That’s something you want to know, right? Sure you do. But…
2. A grotesque, Romo-Is-A-Homo-esque fumble. While bloggers do in fact get sent the same crap press releases as everyone else in the press these days, Dmac disregards a whole fistful of things like pecking order, exclusivity, how well something plugs into each blog’s beat and fesses up to what no writer should ever fess to: That all his shit is publicist-fed or pulled from whatever “wacky news” RSS feed we’ve all been suspecting he’s been relying on for over six months now. Saying.
3. “…everyone’s going to have to start doing more of their own reporting…” For those in the back, he just admitted to what I just said twice in a row, and perhaps even echoed the voice of boss Tim Whitaker, who probably just said this in office somewhere while Dmac turned hot with shame. Weird.
4. Seriously, dude, you’re a grown ass man. Thank god you haven’t been roped into the puppyfucking edition of To Catch A Predator. Creeple Von Creepersberg, table of one, please.
5. At this point, Dmac has digressed all over himself, which is actually a nice change of pace from chasing down one Bob Saget bit after another. But we’re beginning to worry. “Some fun changes [...] things slower [...] blah blah blah” reveals the true nature of this mess: Dmac is scared about something. Perhaps he fears change. Perhaps all these Cassidy Hartman videos signal a sea change in the PW fiefdom. Perhaps someone at the paper just finally started reading his blog.
6. The man’s deference is chilling.
7. OK, he’s finally started to wipe his nose, put himself back together, and get back on track: Blog secrets. Ron Paul. Fresh new start!
8. But no, he slides back to Lane, back to the womb. Blames it all on “needing more sleep.” Dude, don’t you know? Blogging is a 24 hour hustle. Sleep is for the weak. You alright, son?
PhilaWillDo: Mom And Dad, Please Come Pick Me Up?

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 24th, 2008 at 5:08 pm.