Into The Wild
And before I knew it, it was 2am.
I know that Into the Wild is one of those films that you only watch as an in-flight movie and then never mention it or let it be known that you were touched by it, except during phone confessionals with Burger Boy. He does not have a hamburger phone. Rather, it is a regular ass phone. Now to aim true…
This Shit Is Seasonally Affected
“The core of man’s spirit comes from new experiences.”
I wasn’t always “the sober one”.
I have a history of defying intelligence that includes getting nekkid on the Rails during a cruel summer only to be attacked by mosquitoes and other tiny wonders of nature. I did 3 years in a Port Richmond street gang outside of Stock’s Bakery. I used to come home with black hands from climbing abandoned trains lined with soot just for the view. But I’ve never been outside of the Mad Decent Mausoleum gushing on the phone like this:
“OMG I AM AT THIS party. It’s in a mausoleum. A MAUSOLEUM, you know?”
No, g, I don’t know. I was born with bionic ears because someone figured I would put them to a better use than this. You sound so lost right now. I want to hold you.
Why don’t we just agree to call it a loft? That any remnants of the mausoleum are fully partied away and unimportant concerning the event. What are you trying to sell? It does sound mad cute. But tell that rude desperado without a plan who decides to call you in the middle of prime action time that when he gets here, it’ll be sold out. He’ll eventually clear entry and could then find you, already alcohol-miles ahead with at least two phone numbers and one assist to show for it.
Even the 50-year-olds at VHS Or Beta over at the Electric Factory had their shit in check. So what if they reminded everyone at brunch the day after that they still had party legs. What really makes you stand out, Miss Gabby Phone, is that the Manilla Mafia rolled up on this spot and didn’t need to call Some Numb Girl Who Takes Party Intermissions To Answer Her Phone. You actually walked away from the program for a second, while the rest of us were lined up outside fucking ourselves to get in.
You know what, though, stay out there on your piece in not a whole lot of clothing. You freed up some space. You hijacked my column focus like some kind of ninja with breasts.
Back to Glass Candy, who some people actually came to see. The gay jazzercise team that showed up with tight, starved bods and proper clothing made the rest of you look like unkempt slobs who dressed for “the elements.” They hadn’t eaten carbs in three years, yet they still danced you back into a corner.
Also, who throws bottles? WHO? I think I should hold you.
You’re coasting, is all. I know your Premium X Kanye shirt with the black Kate Moss on it hasn’t been delivered yet and you’re wearing the only laundered thing you’ve got. My calendar says late January on it, too. We’re in this together.
So how does the girl with the curly two-toned hair at Silk City turn on the cute? Is it the hair? Is it more’n that?
It took a solid Click at Fluid to put it right again. I have secret nicknames for all of you: Manager, Black Velvet, Rubik’s Cunt, Baby Girl. Some are easy to figure out.
DO WANT/DO NOT WANT
$20,000 Halogen-Powered Espresso Siphon Bar/Walking An Extra 10 Blocks For Better Coffee
Coke Rap/The New Hot Chip
Confessions On The Dancefloor
“[My public persona is] nothing more than a horrible, cartoon-like monster that bears no relation to the quiet, shy, retiring, teetotal, police-loving, clean-nosed poet you see before you now.” –Pete Doherty
“From this angle, Dave P kinda looks black”–Anon.
TrendFucking
January is a great month for trendmaking. Homeless people have started using PW honor boxes as furniture. The Underground Market on Market is this insane basement filled with neon everything and $10 bodysuits that are better quality than the $32 one you bought at That Place. London is cool. Everyone is drinking Stella.
If you really want to levitate on the trend charts, there’s a quick read. In the Know: The Classic Guide to Being Cultured and Cool.
Worth it for the chapter on fashion at least.
As always, slip me your questions and concerns.
