Don’t act like shit never happened. Shit was all over the place, happening, and some of us stepped in it. A few learned that it’s impossible for anyone over the age of 7 to master a red Kool-Aid stain above their lips. But a handful of you did stand out. Let’s throw some D’s on a bitch and see where they land…

This Shit Is A Report

Live Forever at the Barbary is a kid with a bright future. At first I thought, “This whole face-painting thing, it could never work because I have nice sheets.” But the quarter of the crowd who gave in were convincingly precious. The photo-proof was not exhausting to look at. It was the Noah’s Ark of Philadelphia. We could have cut the entire building off from the rest of the world and had enough skills on board to start a new planet where everyone could dance and give great head. There’s the key to longevity.

“We’re alive. We made it.” Thank you, Countdown DJ at MTNYE. You took the Annoying Person t-shirt right off of my back at midnight. I now hear your voice every night before I slip off to bed. Other tricks and sleights of hand at Transit? The magic flooring that had been installed, so that I could drop expensive technology mid-dance numerous times and it would not break. The snow that was shipped straight from the top of Mt. Cocaina. The time shift that would happen whenever I was waiting at the bar so that drinks would instantly appear. Could I have found someone who had a shit experience and didn’t quite “make it”? A yes. After hearing about disasters elsewhere? This was an impressive science project. Admit it, the trusty volcano shit works every time. If you had invested in after-party insurance, you earned an extra-cred A.

Casin-Yes, a Rogerio Bros. production, gets C’ed on because I actually haven’t read their paper yet. It goes down tonight at where else-the Barbary. But the sounds are promising. Is the screenprinted casino-inspired t-shirt offer imaginary? Is this real or less real? Points for being community-minded. Anyone who throws themselves out there on a Thursday night with a “Silk City, and WHAT?” is a benefit to the new school.

Glow-in-the-Dark Goggles: Originated in France, took a massive hit on the states, but have yet to invade the Philadelph. Designer Drugs’ recent foray into El Paso was documented and has intro’d the concept of dayglo specs to your curious Shit-Talker here. This is not like you, France. Do you want us to fucking adopt you or not?

Breakfast with the Mummers at Melrose Diner on New Years Day should be like a backstage hang with wisened-by-age rockstars, right? But it turns out that sans costume at 6am, your beloved Mummers are about as interesting as unbuttered white toast. Excepting the grandpa with the gold running shoes, there will be no stickers here.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008 at 2:55 pm.